a day on the beach [dated to 2/9]

[caughtinalie]

It's really not warm enough for a beach trip, but maybe that's why they're doing it. It's an impractical trip, a flight of fancy that hadn't been planned or anticipated, a spare afternoon where none of them have other plans, or at least no plans that can't be changed. They have a free few hours and Jin's truck and nothing in the world sounds better than spending a few stupid hours together.

The hyungs all pile into the cab, Jin hyung and Joonie hyung up front, the other two just behind them while Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook make themselves comfortable in the bed. Or at least as comfortable as they can with a few blankets, their cheeks turning a frigid pink as the wind whips at their skin. It's next to impossible to carry on any conversation back there, but that hardly stops them from trying, the three of them screaming and laughing into the wind, rejoicing in the opportunity to just be away from the rest of the world, to exist in just this exact moment with nothing else weighing them down.

Jimin's ears are ringing by the time hyung pulls onto the familiar stretch of beach, body buzzing from the vibration of the truck on the road as he hops out.

It's even colder here than it'd been in the city, the wind rushing off the water, chilling Jimin to the bone despite his big, puffy coat. But it feels amazing, the sand soft under his shoes as he runs up ahead, glancing back at his friends as he comes dangerously close to the edge of the water, hands still stuffed in the pockets of his coat. The dulled sunlight glints off the truck, a little blink as the sun is enveloped in another blanket of clouds.

They've only just got here, still have hours to spend doing just about whatever they want and yet, some part of Jimin is already dreading when it all ends.

Comments

[likedriedflowerpetals]

It's a relief to be out in the open air, the sweet salt of ocean air on the wind. Yoongi has been restless for days, unsure why, if it's just being back in school or if it's knowing that every day passed brings him closer to letters from the universities he's applied to. Whatever the reason, there's a feeling of freedom out on the beach, surrounded by his friends, that eases the part of him that's been so unsettled.

He walks with his hands in his pockets, kicking up sand as he goes. As he gets closer to the water's edge, he toes off his shoes. He's still debating if he dares get his feet wet in this cold when he hears one of the others approach and glances back with a welcoming grin.

[iwishicould]

Namjoon has been on the beach for ten whole minutes and he can already feel sand in his shoes rubbing against his socks as he approaches Yoongi. Hopping on one foot, he pulls one of his heels halfway out of his shoe and tries to brush off as much as he can. Wobbling a little, he puts a hand out for Yoongi's shoulder before he makes it worse.

"Sorry, aish," he mutters as he shoves his foot down, shifting it from side to side back into his shoe. With that distraction sorted, Namjoon looks up and ahead of him, breathing in the sea air for a moment before turning to Yoongi. He opens his mouth to say something, but something about what he sees stops him. A wide smile spreads across his face before he crackles with laughter. "Sorry, sorry," he apologises again. "I wasn't expecting you to be smiling."

[likedriedflowerpetals]

"Yah," Yoongi exclaims, slapping at Namjoon's arm. "Why is everyone always so surprised I know how to smile?"

Even with such a complaint, he only scowls briefly. It's too good to see Namjoon laughing, even if it's at his own expense. It feels to him like everything is a little lighter out here by the ocean, weights lifted from their shoulders, even if it's only temporary. When they leave here, they go back to their lives, their responsibilities, their families. For now, though, they're free.

[iwishicould]

Namjoon snickers, accepting the retaliation. "I knew that you knew how, it's surprising when there's no evil intention behind it."

He looks back out towards the sea. It's not a particularly nice day. It's overcast, and the sun has troubles peeking through, leaving a grey wash on the sky, almost blending in with the dull blue of the ocean. Regardless, there was something about it all, the fresh wind, the cold sand, the laughter from the group behind them. The combination made him feel at peace.

It would be easy for him to delve into this thought, to inspect it and to ask questions about it and to analyse, but he was trying not to do that here. Any thoughts could lead him back home, and that was a place he wanted to ignore for now. Instead, he places his attention on Yoongi.

"Seriously, though. You look happy. It's good. I won't point it out anymore."

[likedriedflowerpetals]

Yoongi huffs out a laugh. "I am happy," he says, low as a confession. "It's just... nice to get away."

He's been so much happier since he started dating Jungkook, but excursions like this still come as a relief. He doesn't mind the city; he minds his house, the place that has never been a home. It helps to know he has other places he can go and people to go with, friends who actually give a fuck about him. Being out here, breathing fresh salt air, there's a measure of freedom he doesn't feel at home.

"It's really nice out here. Like it's just us left."

[iwishicould]

"Hmm." Namjoon looks over his shoulder, back toward the truck. Toward his carefree friends laughing together, running across the wide expanse of pale sand. It's easy, from this angle, to imagine it. What if there was simply no one else? What if it was just them left to pick through the world at whatever pace they wanted?

"I like that," Namjoon says, mostly coming out of his daydream. "I'm going to steal that." His eyes still lingered on the others and he can't help a faint smile. "Sometimes I feel like this is the way they're supposed to be. Like, how they would be if there wasn't... everything else, you know?"

Everything Else. It had become a big, shadowy concept to Namjoon of late. There was the things in their lives that mattered, that felt pure and full and right. And then there was everything else that turned them into hurt, more shattered versions of themselves.

[likedriedflowerpetals]

Sometimes Namjoon gets vague and poetic, and all Yoongi can do his shake his head, bewildered but fond. This time, though, he nods, hands buried in his pockets against the cold coming off the ocean. He does know. He looks at the younger boys running and laughing, and he gets it completely. It's how they should be, young and free and uninhibited by parents who don't love them the way parents should, who seek to cut them down in one way or another. Coming out here, out of the city, it's like they left all that behind for a little while. And Namjoon is right — it's how they should be. Like they've been stripped down to a purer state, a more natural one, freed from everything that ensnares them at home.

"Yeah," he says, nodding again. "Maybe if it were just us left, it's how they would be."

It's not fair, he thinks, that the world is so cold and cruel to them. He'd shelter his dongsaengs from all of it if he could. But the world being unfair isn't anything new. All they can do is try to escape it now and then.

[iwishicould]

He's quiet, then, in the space where one would normally respond. Namjoon can't take his eyes off of his friends, and he feels a dark storm brewing just below the surface of his chest. They all could be this happy. It was possible. If only Namjoon could pull his own shit together and make it happen for them. But...

He knows himself enough to be aware of what follows this dark feeling and he suddenly feels a bit pathetic for letting it even start. He shakes his head and returns to his position, keeping his eyes on the water, on Yoongi. He's not going to let these feelings get to him. Not here, not now.

"Aish, sorry. Look at me, saying how everyone's happy and then making everything sad." He smiles, despite the things his mind was saying, and looks down at Yoongi's bare feet. "Were you going to go in? I think Jungkook was yelling about swimming and knowing him, he'll make it a reputation thing."

[likedriedflowerpetals]

It's impossible not to wonder what Namjoon is thinking in the ensuing silence, but Yoongi doesn't push. They both get like this at times, quiet where other people would start talking, keeping to themselves what others might share. It isn't born of a lack of affection or trust. It's simply who they are. So Yoongi lets Namjoon keep his silence, watching the waves until the other boy speaks again.

"Thinking about it," he says. "He absolutely will, so maybe I'll beat him to it. But it's going to be cold." He's psyching himself up for that. The waves themselves are inviting, but the thought of the cold water soaking through his jeans holds him at bay. Even the wind is chilly. The water can only be more so. "What about you?"

[iwishicould]

"Absolutely not!" Namjoon barks out a laugh. It would be loud, but it gets eaten and carried off by the winds. "I don't need to put a toe in to know how unpleasant that is going to be. I'm perfectly happy watching from here, just me and some sand crabs and my very, very average reputation."

"Uh, not to say you shouldn't, though. I'm sure it's... not that bad? Not as bad as we think, maybe?" His eyes scan over the water's surface, the cresting waves, the dull green-grey-blue of it all. He tries not to imagine going in, having just gotten used to the temperature outside, as it is. "Plus, I'm sure everyone will think you're very tough and manly."

[likedriedflowerpetals]

Yoongi snorts, rolling his eyes. "Yes, so tough," he says, "when I start screaming because it's freezing." Even so, he's psyching himself up to do it. It seems like a shame to come to the ocean and not go in, if only for a minute. At least up to his ankles.

For the moment, though, he's content to stay here with Namjoon. "You're looking for crabs again?" He doesn't entirely understand the fascination, but they're cool, he guesses, and everyone has their thing. Halfway up the beach, the kids are screaming with laughter, and he wonders what the hell they're doing.

[iwishicould]

"I'm always looking for crabs, Min Yoongi hyung." He smiles, looking down at his feet, already scanning for the little places they would hide. "Even in the city." He takes a tiny step back, shoes shuffling in the sand as he avoids the tail end of a particularly long wave that crawled up the beach, as if trying to reach them.

Namjoon's head snaps towards the direction of the loud noises coming from the group. At first, startled and concerned by the screams, but it quickly devolves into raucous laughter, making Namjoon hang his head, grinning. "Seriously, I don't think I've ever had that much energy in my life, do you? How did we get this bunch?"

[likedriedflowerpetals]

"They found us," Yoongi says, huffing out a laugh, "and latched on like little puppies. Destructive puppies." Sometimes he wonders what it's like, to have that kind of boisterous energy, as if he isn't perfectly capable of running down the beach, screaming, too. He just doesn't have any particular urge to do so.

Still, for all that he might tease or roll his eyes, he loves them. They're strange kids, but they're his — his brothers, his boyfriend, the only family he's had these last few years or, really, needed. His father might not care about him, but who needs him? If there's one thing he's learned from these boys, it's that family is what you make of it. Blood doesn't mean anything.