hotel_omelas | 051621. hoseok & jimin.

SPRING.
May 16, 2021.

WHO hoseok & jimin
WHAT waking up

WHERE hoseok's apartment
TIMELINE cycle 5

What?
Where am I?

wakes on the couch, looks over to Jimin in his bed
Jimin, you’re home.
Or my apartment. Do you remember us rescuing you last night?

What?
Oh. Oh yeah.
takes a breath. and another.
Maybe we should go back.

No no no, Jimin. We don’t need to go back. You don’t need to go back.
Are you hungry? Do you need anything.

Uhm. I don’t know.
What time is it?

checks his phone
4:30. Are you comfortable? Do you need more blankets?

No. I mean, yes. I’m comfortable. This is just.
rubs his face
Why are you way over there?

I wanted to give you space. I didn’t want to scare you.

You don’t scare me.
This is a nice place.

You think it’s nice?
Do you want me closer?

Yeah. Bright.
quiet for a moment
Please come here?

gets up, crosses to his bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress
Do you need anything? I just... I want you to be comfortable.

I don’t know. I don’t know what I need.
This doesn’t feel right.

It’s new. But it’s better than the hospital, I promise.
I’ll give you anything you need, okay?

What if something goes wrong?

Nothing will go wrong. You’re home now. We’ll all protect you. I’ll protect you.

I don’t think it’s me who needs protecting.
It’s just a matter of time before I have to go back.

You won’t.
reaches for Jimin’s hand, holding it tightly
There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, Jimin.

looks at Hoseok’s fingers tangled with his
Maybe we’re both broken.
Maybe... maybe that’ll make it okay?

nodding, holding Jimin’s hand more tightly, eyes going wet
We’ll be okay together. I haven’t been okay in a long time, but I am now.
I love you, Jiminie.

You haven’t been okay?
brushes Hoseok’s thumb with his and squeezes
I didn’t mean to leave. I’m sorry.

shrugs
I wasn’t okay without you. It’s okay now. You’re here now.
I know you didn’t mean to go. I know.
I just hope...
I hope you’ll stay.

We could both go back.
Do you think...
Maybe they won’t even know that I’ve gone.

frowns
Do you want to go back?

... I don’t know.
I feel like I should.

You shouldn’t. You don’t need to be there.
You need to be with people who care about you. Not locked away.
squeezes Jimin’s hand, holding tight
I need you here.

But it’s—
looks down at Hoseok’s hand again and squeezes harder
What if I hurt you. I know you said I’m not dangerous but you don’t know.

You’re not. You won’t.
We’re both broken, remember? But we’re okay together.
I’m... I’m even more broken than you think.

frowns
What do you mean?

lowers his eyes for a moment before looking back at Jimin
I lied about having narcolepsy. I don’t have it.

I don’t understand.
Of course you do.

shakes his head
I don’t. I fall down because...
I make myself fall.

But.
Why?

So people will take care of me. So people will care.

I would care even if you didn’t fall down. I’ve always cared.

I know.
It was harder without you.

Oh.
I’m really sorry. I never wanted to leave you.
Have you been doing it more?

A little more.
It’s not your fault.
I’m hard to love.

What?
No, you’re not. Not even a little bit.

I am. I know you love me, but I’m selfish. I need you.

When you were—
In the hospital, on the stairs... was that fake too?

No. I thought... I thought I saw Mom.
I see her a lot. I tried to chase her and I lost my balance.
You saved me. Not just then, so many times.

But I’ve been gone.
I haven’t been able to do anything for anyone.

Looking for you helped me.
And now you’re here. This is all I’ve been wishing and hoping for.

I really thought like. I don’t know.
In there, it made sense. I was supposed to be there.
Am?
I feel like people are better off without me.

I’m not. Tae isn’t. None of us are.
I need you, Jimin. I don’t... I’m not happy without you.

I don’t feel like. I don’t know.
Am I the same person anymore?

Probably not exactly? None of us are, I don’t think. But you’re still you.

Am I? I don’t know. I feel like I shouldn’t be me.
I was born wrong.

If you were then I was too. Our parents didn’t want us.
But I want you. I want to be with you always.

I don’t know what I did. I didn’t ask for this and neither did you. What’s so wrong with us?

Nothing’s wrong with us. It’s them. Right? There’s nothing wrong with you, Jimin. So many people love you.
wraps his other hand around Jimin’s
I love you.

I haven’t even finished high school. No one will hire me, probably. It’s been— I was in there for so long. I can’t believe you didn’t just forget about me.

How could I forget about you? You make me happier than anyone in the world. I thought about you every single day.

Every day? That’s so many days.
Is it disappointing?
Me now. Are you... will you still love me?

Of course it’s not disappointing. God, Jimin, I missed you so much. You’re still you, I still love you more than anyone. I’ll always love you. Didn’t I promise you that?

squeezes Hoseok’s hand tighter, clinging
I still have it. I mean, obviously. Just.
pulls up the sleeve of his shirt and turns his arm

reaches to brush his fingers over the flower tattoo
Did you think about me?
moves his hand to touch his own upper back, at the base of his neck
I have one now too. For you.

I tried not to after awhile. It hurt too much. But this was always there, so.
frowns as Hoseok touches his neck
You... what? Really?

frowns
I’m sorry it hurt. I’m so sorry.
reluctantly letting go of Jimin’s hand, shifting so Jimin can see his tattoo
Joonie did it for me.

lets out a sound at the loss of touch but then gasps
Oh. Hyung. It’s beautiful.
reaches out to touch it lightly

closes his eyes, sighing at the touch
I told Namjoon I wanted it to be as beautiful as you.

It’s a lot prettier than me. Wow.
gently, carefully leans in to brush lips over the design

is going to speak but gasps softly at the kiss instead, his eyes flooding with tears
I– I put it there because, because of how you kiss me there.
voice shaking

Hoseokie, please don’t cry.
leans forward, resting his forehead to the mark
Please.

shaking softly, unable to stop his tears from falling
I’m sorry. I missed you so much. I love you so much.

shakes head, breath catching
You keep saying that. I feel so selfish. I am.

I can’t help saying it. It’s true. Why do you feel selfish?

Because I want it. I want you to love me, but I don’t. I’m not enough. Not good enough.

You are good enough. I won’t stop loving you. Even if you don’t love me back.

I didn’t--
It’s not that.

It’s okay if you don’t. It’s been a long time, a hard time for you.

I’m not sure I even feel human.

It’s okay that you don’t. You’ve been in that hospital for so long.
finds Jimin’s hand again
It’s okay. You don’t have to be normal again soon.

What if I’m never normal?

I’ll love you anyway.

You deserve more, though. So much more.

You’re everything. If anything I don’t deserve you.

That’s not true. That’s absolutely not true. You found me.

By accident. I tried so hard to find you and I found you by accident.