hotel_omelas | 041221. jungkook & taehyung.

SPRING.
April 12, 2021.

WHO jungkook & taehyung
WHAT namjoon's return

WHERE phone call
TIMELINE cycle 2

TAEHYUNG Taehyung can't think straight. Seeing red isn't exactly an unfamiliar feeling for Taehyung, but he knows he's in a bad way when even the fact that he can't hit the buttons on his phone harder is a frustration as he calls Jungkook. He doesn't even wait for an answer, just starts half talking, half yelling as soon as the ringtone cuts off, voice echoing off of the old buildings he's walking past and in between, words spilling out so fast that some of them slip, get mashed with others, missed completely.

"Two fucking years, Jungkook!" He only just moves his shoulder to avoid ramming into a couple he's passing by. "Two, two fucking years and he seriously just Taehyungie's me. Like, like, nothingeverhappened. Ah, it's Namjoonie, I'm so happy he's back! Right. Right! 'He waited too long' and I'm suppo scare, I'm SUPPOSED TO CARE. Well I don't. I don't fucking care."

He breathes.

JUNGKOOK It only takes a split second for Jungkook to answer the phone, as he always does with Taehyung. Doing so is second nature, no boundaries raised between the both of them - not when Taehyung has been one of Jungkook's only constants over the past couple of years.

But this time, a twist of guilt settles in Jungkook's stomach as he listens to Taehyung rant.

Namjoon isn't the only one who's come back into the picture after two years - but Jungkook hasn't breathed a word of Yoongi's return to Taehyung. Couldn't figure out how to broach the topic when Yoongi's emotional state already felt tenuous. And now, Jungkook can't help but wonder if Taehyung will see that as a betrayal of its own - not including him on what's happened.

"Did you... did he really not say anything else?" Jungkook asks, fumbling with the hem of his jacket, wondering if he should run out to meet Taehyung. Wondering if the distance of a call is easier. "Nothing to explain where he's been?"

TAEHYUNG "No, he. He!!!" Somehow, walking this fast, being this angry, takes up most of his energy, all of his thought. Taehyung isn't sure where he's going, or even what he's calling for, but calling Jungkook seemed like the only thing to do, when he's feeling this... whatever he's feeling. The questions give him pause, because he can't answer, doesn't know. Namjoon hasn't even said anything, not really, but the sudden reappearance on his phone, just knowing--

Taehyungie

Why does one fucking text make his heart jump up in his chest?

He takes a breath, less to calm himself and more because he feels like he can't get the air he needs to be as mad as he is, and something about the breath resets him, clears his head. "I haven't. Really. I haven'trespondedyet." It's not embarrassment in his voice (he tells himself), but the admission slows him down. A little.

JUNGKOOK In some ways, the anger's been a long time coming. Jungkook knows that Taehyung tries to keep some of that a little more muted when he's around his dongsaeng, tries not to let the resentment show and disrupt what time they have together. It's one of the many reminders of how Taehyung knows him best - how Taehyung seems to pick up on the little details, never spoken and never voiced, that reveal the true depth of what Jungkook's feeling. Anger was an emotion carefully folded away when Yoongi left. When it was clear that Yoongi wasn't coming back.

Sometimes they slipped, sometimes a little of that fire flared when they were running down the pavement. Sparked, when they stood breathless in alleys, hiding from the authorities.

But it's never been like this, a torrent of restlessness returning in all of an instant. Jungkook presses the phone close to his ear, tries to summon that anger in solidarity. He finds he can't, but maybe Taehyung wouldn't have expected that anyway. "...you should probably reply," he says, chewing at his lower lip. "Even if it's just to cuss him out." He pauses. "Take another breath, hyung."

TAEHYUNG "Why?" The word shoots out, quick, snappier than he means it to, as if he has to counter the evenness, the calm from Jungkook. He isn't upset, not at him, but something about being told to be calm, about being told that he should talk to Namjoon--

"Why?" He repeats, shoulder checking a drunk passerby and not even looking back when he hears the offended shout. "Why should I reply? Did he ever reply to me? Did he ever reply to you?" He knows the answer.

JUNGKOOK Jungkook doesn't flinch at the sharp retort. He expected nothing less coming from Taehyung, and admittedly for good reason. Whatever amount of anger or resentment Taehyung carries against Namjoon feels valid. Legitimate. Understandable, considering how abruptly Namjoon had left, and how silent he had been until the time served him.

But that doesn't change the fact that keeping silent, in this case, seems like something that would only make Taehyung feel worse.

"No, he didn't. But if you don't reply, then it's... it's always going to be like this. Unfinished," Jungkook reasons. "Besides, do you really want to do what he did and keep silent? The text didn't bounce, he's gotta know that it went through."

TAEHYUNG "He's the one who did it. He's the one who left us." Left him. "He doesn't, he shouldn't get to decide anything. Maybe - maybe I do want this. Maybe he should know how it feels to be ignored. 's what he did to us. For two fucking years, Jungkook!"

How much can Namjoon care, if he left for so long and never looked back?

"We were always there. We were always here. None of our texts bounced. He ignored us, so maybe. Maybe that's what he deserves."

JUNGKOOK Vindictive though his words are, Jungkook can't say that the sentiment is undeserved. Jungkook might hold a more forgiving view of Namjoon, might hold to the assumption that there was a good reason - or if not a good one, one that didn't erase away all of the care Namjoon had shown them over the years. Before he left.

But how does Jungkook really know if Namjoon holds onto any of that sentiment anymore? (He knows, he feels that he knows.)

"...you know I'll support you either way, Tae," Jungkook says quietly. "If you want to ignore him."

TAEHYUNG "Yeah, well maybe I do," Taehyung says, just a low mutter now, more spiteful than anything as the anger recedes. It's hard to stay this tense when Jungkook is this quiet, without the energy to match. Not because he isn't mad - because he is. And not because it's okay, either. But he needs to save it. For the right people.

He comes to a familiar corner, one with a bus stop, and stops to sit, putting his chin in his hand before rubbing at his face. He doesn't know why he feels tired, all of a sudden.

"...he left, Gguk."

JUNGKOOK Jungkook pulls in a breath, loud enough that he imagines Taehyung will pick up on it. Taehyung picks up on most things about Jungkook anymore, now that years have gone by with the two of them holding onto one another, trying to keep each other from drifting entirely. It makes moments like this a little more difficult, when Jungkook wants to wholeheartedly ease Taehyung's troubles, but never manages to fully tuck away his own emotions.

The way he misses Namjoon's hugs. The way he's never blamed Namjoon, really, for leaving. (The way Namjoon looked in the classroom.)

"...I know. He should have said something. If he was going to leave," Jungkook nods, curling his legs up against his chest. "Said something, wherever he went."

TAEHYUNG "He shouldn't have gone in the first place." Maybe that's selfish. No, Taehyung knows it is. But he doesn't care now, when Namjoon's had the nerve to just. Show up.

He pulls the phone away from his ear to check his notifications. To see if, by some chance, Namjoon has sent him something else. Something to explain. Something that will fix things. Something that he can get mad at, so that he can ignore the sound that Jungkook makes and the diplomatic, forgiving tone that he thinks he hears. But there's nothing. Because Namjoon is waiting for him. He snorts, like this is an offense, too. Because it is.

For a moment, though, he goes quiet. With the anger ebbing, just a little, it's easier to think. Maybe not clearly, but at least - to think.

"...what the hell am I even supposed to say to him." There's enough resentment, enough annoyance, that he thinks it hides the fear.

JUNGKOOK In the months since Namjoon first left, Jungkook has had far more time to adjust to Taehyung's mercurial moods, learning them as well as he has the alleys and streets they've roamed. Anger is not the only emotion that Jungkook hears in Taehyung's voice - not with the breath that he takes, the quiet words that follow.

It won't be the only emotion Taehyung feels when he goes to see Namjoon, whenever that'll be.

"Do you want to see him?" Jungkook asks, taking a breath and pausing before he pushes on. "...do you want him to stay?"

TAEHYUNG "No," he grumbles immediately. It's not true, they both know it.

"And no," comes even more emphatically. "I was - we're all doing fine without him."

JUNGKOOK Jungkook can't help it; he huffs, the sound almost coming out like a laugh.

"It's okay if you want to see him, hyung," Jungkook says quietly, gaze skirting off to the side. Moments like this remind Jungkook that he has a lot of explaining to do, whenever he figures out how to tell Taehyung that Yoongi's back. Been back. "Maybe we were fine without him, but - question is if we'd be better with him back, right?"

TAEHYUNG There's a long pause, and Taehyung can't help but snort, though it's less derisive toward Jungkook, and more toward himself. "...I shouldn't want to. Not after. Not after all of this."

JUNGKOOK It takes Jungkook a while to respond, smiling tightly as he grips his phone. He glances around, searching for the right words.

"Maybe not. But that's not how love works, is it?" Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, quiet breaths against the receiver before he adds, "I know you wouldn't, but - if you left like that, I'd still want you back. Two years, five, fifty. I'd spank you with my old man cane and then take you out for soju."

He chews briefly on the inside of his cheek. "If he does anything stupid, you can totally turn around and leave him in the dust. Make sure you get the last word. Be super chic."

TAEHYUNG "He already did something super stupid. And I'd rather just punch him in his stupid, dopey face than get in the last word. I already had the last word." And not by choice. If things had been the way they should have been, Namjoon would have answered. There wouldn't have been a last word.

"And I. I don't—" He can't even say it. They both know it's a lie.

JUNGKOOK "Alright, I get it. You don't," Jungkook says softly, interrupting before Taehyung has to struggle too long to get the lie out. Taehyung's never been short on feelings and emotion; if Jungkook still finds himself completely thrown after meeting with Yoongi again, he's sure that Taehyung will feel similarly around Namjoon. That there was a void that no amount of forcing on Taehyung's part could fully close.

Jungkook lets the silence hang for a couple of seconds before he speaks up again, a small, bittersweet grin on his lips. "Want me to yell at him for you instead?"

TAEHYUNG "No," Taehyung mutters, barely audible as he ducks his head. "You don't want to yell at him."

They don't talk about it much, but Taehyung still knows that he and Jungkook have processed the past couple of years differently. Despite whatever parallels they may have had and where the two of them are now, Jungkook's anger, or upset, or whatever it is, isn't Taehyung's. Probably for the better.

He nearly runs into someone on the sidewalk and curses, not so softly.

JUNGKOOK "But I would," Jungkook says, voice quiet. Because he would. Because there's very little in the world that Jungkook feels he wouldn't do for Taehyung, close as the two of them are, and that's something Jungkook thinks the others might even understand.

The only thing that holds him back is the knowledge that doing so wouldn't be nearly as cathartic for Taehyung. No, Taehyung needs - something tangible. Namjoon, within arm's reach.

"...you're probably the first person that he reached out to," Jungkook muses. "'Cause I haven't gotten anything."

TAEHYUNG "But I wouldn't make you." He's insistent. Through everything, Jungkook has been here for him. Never wavered, not once, through arrests, sideways conversations about the dark spots that linger in the corners, every time that Taehyung has avoided going home. Jungkook isn't the same has he was two years ago; he's taken on some of Taehyung's life in a way that he knows probably isn't fair, or healthy, or - good. And Taehyung has always known, really, that as the older, he should be encouraging better choices. So maybe this is one of them.

Don't yell at your hyung who disappeared for two years. That's Taehyung's job.

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" he asks wryly.

JUNGKOOK Flattered probably isn't the right word to use, and yet Jungkook can't help the flicker of jealousy in his chest. It's been five days since Yoongi stumbled back into Jungkook's life, and only once has it been Yoongi who's reached out. Jungkook's fairly certain that one time wouldn't have happened at all, were it not for the way their paths coincidentally crossed, two boys drawn to a worn-down piano in the back of a music shop.

"I don't think there's anything you're supposed to feel," Jungkook admits. "But it's, I don't know. It feels important. That he chose you to talk to first." A pause. "Like maybe he realizes how much he fucked up."

TAEHYUNG The noise that Taehyung makes is as noncommittal as he can make it.

He feels himself wandering in circles in his head. Maybe on the streets now, too. He hasn't really seen anything he's walked by since he's been on the phone. The effect is the same, though. He hasn't gotten anywhere. At least, nowhere that he wants to be. He doesn't like to think that this is making things better. He doesn't want this to be important. Because Taehyung had made up his mind. About Namjoon. About everything. And now Namjoon is texting him. And that's supposed to make things change?

He knows he's not going to ignore Namjoon forever. No matter how badly he wants to. No matter how much he tells Jungkook he will. So maybe it's just better to get it over with.

He stops and sits down at the stairs to a convenience store he thinks he's passed, not for the first time, and huffs, staring down at his feet. "...fine."

JUNGKOOK In spite of himself, Jungkook smiles. He can picture Taehyung so clearly - probably stopped on some stoop, coming to a pause after roaming haphazardly on the streets. Either aiming an unfocused glare at passersby, or perhaps focused on the toes of his shoes. There's still too much emotion in his hyung for Jungkook to imagine exactly how the reunion with Namjoon will go, but one way or another, Jungkook knows it'll be an important one. And he can't help hoping that it'll be enough for Taehyung to start to heal.

"I know it's not usually my thing, but if he hurts you again," Jungkook says quietly, tone serious, "I really will punch him." He takes a deep breath, letting it out in a heavy sigh. "Tell me how it goes, okay?"

TAEHYUNG "Yeah. Yeah, I will," Taehyung mutters begrudgingly. He thinks he has a pretty good idea of how things are going to go, and it doesn't really feel like a call he's going to be excited to make. But Jungkook's been here for him through the whole thing. Might as well tell him how it ends.

He sighs, pushing himself up to his feet on the steps and staring down the street. "Thanks, Gguk. I'll let you know."

JUNGKOOK If tonight goes poorly, Jungkook thinks, Taehyung probably won't call back immediately. Then again, if all goes well, Jungkook's also not sure whether or not his hyung will call. But that's fine. No matter what happens tonight, Namjoon won't be a reason for Taehyung to leave.

Two years have taught Jungkook to trust in that.

He smiles against the receiver, pulling in a small breath and nodding. "Love you, Tae," he says, before hanging up.

CODE BY TESSISAMESS