hotel_omelas | 020919. jimin & taehyung.

WINTER.
February 9, 2019.

WHO jimin & taehyung
WHAT about another love

WHERE phone call
TIMELINE cycle 1

JIMIN For a long moment, Jimin just stares at his phone, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, he wants Taehyung here, he wants to be able to look him in the eyes, wants to be able to hold him close if Taehyung will let him. But, on the other hand, he’s terrified of looking Taehyung in the eye right now, terrified of any affection at all being rejected even if, deep deep inside his heart, he can’t imagine Taehyung ever shoving him away.

So he has to take a few deep breaths before he can force himself to tap on Taehyung’s name in his phone and he curls himself into a ball on his bed, phone trapped between his ear and his pillow as it rings.

TAEHYUNG Taehyung really isn't sure what to make of the texts from Jimin; he spent a few minutes taking stock of what the two of them had done in the past few days, wondering if he had done something wrong without realizing it. The ringing of the phone doesn't do anything to ease his mind, and he lets it go off a couple of times before he picks up, pulling his hoodie up over his head and sitting down on a bench that he's passing.

"Jimin-ah, hi," he says, hoping he's comforting, that he doesn't sound as anxious as he feels.

JIMIN “Hi,” Jimin breathes, the sound of Taehyung’s voice as soothing as it’s always been despite the hammering in his chest and the itching under his skin. He manages another breath, quieter this time, and licks his lips. He has no idea how to broach this smoothly, if that’s even possible. Figures it’s probably best to just dive in.

“Hi,” is all he manages, repeating himself with a nervous, awkward laugh before adding, “Uhm. I uh. You know uhm. You know how I went to see Hoseok hyung the night I got back from Busan?”

TAEHYUNG "Mm, yeah," he says absently, looking up at the sky and trying to make out some stars, just to give his mind something else to focus on. He isn't sure what the tone that Jimin has is, but it unsettles him at the edges.

There's a moment of silence, and he considers saying more. Feels like he should say more. But he lets the air hang quiet instead.

JIMIN Jimin spares a moment to wonder where Taehyung is, where in the city he might be. Alone. He doesn’t like that Taehyung’s alone right now, but there’s no fixing it, really. And he isn’t sure it’d be better if Taehyung was with someone.

He waits for Taehyung to say something more or maybe ask a question, but when it becomes obvious that Taehyung’s just waiting, he says, “We talked that night. And he… uhm. I told him. How I feel? And he, uh…” He pauses for a breath, his ears ringing. “He said he likes me back.”

TAEHYUNG "Ah, Jimin-ah!" That's good, isn't it? Taehyung knows that Jimin has been hurting, that this is something he's wanted for as long as he's been with him - longer, even. And they've talked about this, haven't they? He likes Hoseok hyung the way he likes Namjoon.

So why does Jimin sound so nervous? "Isn't, isn't it?"

JIMIN Taehyung’s reaction is so bright and so immediate that Jimin can’t help but laugh, a quiet, breathless sort of huff as relief washes over him like a wave. How could he have ever doubted this? How could he have worried?

“It is,” he says, letting those giddy little butterflies fill his chest again. “It’s… really really good. Aish, it’s so good, Tae. But it’s also. I don’t.” He hesitates then, the familiar anxiety rising bit by bit. “I don’t want to lose you.”

TAEHYUNG "Oh? Do you, do you have to lose me?" Is this what Jimin is nervous about? He remembers when he talked to Jungkook about Jimin wanting to kiss him, how strange the concept had seemed. How he'd had to remind himself that most people don't reply to 'I'm in love with someone else and they love me back' with 'that's good!'

Maybe Hoseok hyung is one of those people. Maybe if there's Hoseok and Jimin, there's no room for Taehyung. But at least Jimin would be happy. He lowers his eyes from the light flooded night sky and chewing his lip.

JIMIN “I don’t want to,” Jimin says, his voice rushed and quiet, edging on pleading as he grabs at the sheets beneath him and holds tight, his stomach a mess of nerves. “I really really don’t want to lose you. But if it’s… I don’t know. Is this too much? Is it too soon? Are you… are you upset?”

TAEHYUNG He relaxes at that, laughing softly. "Yah, Chim. I told you about Joon, and you're still with me, aren't you? I'm here for you, hm? I'm always here for you, whatever you need. And I'm happy that you have Hoseok hyung. If, if he's okay with. With us?"

Another pause.

"Is... is he okay with us?"

JIMIN Taehyung’s laugh is soft and sweet, his words gently reassuring, and Jimin feels the tightness in his gut ease immediately as he lets out a soft laugh of his own.

“He is,” he says, feeling like he can actually breathe again. “He knows I love you, that I still want to be with you. He’s… I think he’s worried about upsetting you. Maybe even more worried than I’ve been.”

TAEHYUNG "Ah," he says with an understanding hum, nodding absently. "This makes sense. But it's okay, hm? Hyung doesn't have to worry. I told you it was okay, right? I mean it, Jimin-ah. I want you to be with people you love. Doesn't just have to be me."

JIMIN “You told me,” Jimin agrees with a soft breath, sinking into the familiar comfort of Taehyung’s voice and his pure, beautiful heart. He doesn’t deserve this, at his heart, he knows that. But that’s not going to stop him from soaking it all up anyway. He can’t help himself. “You’re so good, Taetae. You’re so so good. I never want to lose you, okay? Promise me?”

TAEHYUNG "You're never going to lose me. Never, okay? How many times do I have to tell you?" He says it fondly, voice warm and soft as he puts his chin in his hand. He should feel weird about this. Weirder than he does. But he's just happy, even if he worries, a little, about how how anxious it seems to make Jimin. "I promise you, though. You'll never lose me."

JIMIN “I promise you too,” Jimin says once he’s taken a breath. He feels a little shaken but not in a bad way. It’s the cool rush of relief, he thinks, after days of being so, so needlessly worried. “You’re stuck with me forever. Soulmates til the end, no matter what happens.”

TAEHYUNG "No end. Just you and me forever, Jimin-ah." He lets himself remember the rhythm of his breath, no longer worried that something is wrong, and smiles as he tugs his coat around himself a bit more snugly. "Ah. You had me so worried."

JIMIN “I’m sorry,” Jimin replies with a quick, quiet laugh. It’s so easy to picture Taehyung’s face right now, his sweet, wide smile and pretty, pretty eyes. Jimin still wants to kiss him so badly and there’s strangely some relief in that, too. “I didn’t mean to. I just… I don’t know. You know how I get sometimes. I always worry.”

TAEHYUNG "I know. And you don't have to, hm? Not with me." Taehyung does know how anxious Jimin can get, how he turns every little thing over in his head to see how it can inconvenience or hurt someone else. But he hasn't done that to Taehyung, and Taehyung isn't ever expecting him to. That's not how soulmates work, right? "Ah. I'm happy for you, Jimin-ah."

JIMIN “Really?” Jimin replies, the relief turning into something like quiet giddiness then as he grins into his phone. “I guess… I mean, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I know I’d feel the same for you. I just want you to be happy, Taetae. That’s all I ever want.” He pauses then before letting out another quiet laugh. “And to keep getting to kiss you and stuff. I know that’s greedy but I want that.”

TAEHYUNG "Chim," he laughs again, getting up from the bench and starting to wander again, this time with more direction than before. "I told you, you have me. So that includes kissing me and stuff, right? That makes me happy, hm?"

I know I'd feel the same for you. It's sweet, well meaning - this is Jimin, after all - but the words make Taehyung's chest clench up tightly in a way that he doesn't let himself acknowledge, just hunching in on himself further and hunching his head, telling himself it's from the cold. He doesn't think Jimin's ever going to be in his position. Namjoon's happy, after all. Just like him and Jimin.

JIMIN "Does that mean it isn't entirely selfish then?" he asks, his smile easier now, the tension that's been stewing and festering in his belly for days nearly entirely forgotten after just a few minutes of talking with Taehyung. He closes his eyes again, just soaking in the comfort of Taehyung's low, sweet voice.

He pulls in a slow breath and then drops his own voice, turning just a little more coy when he adds, "Can I kiss you again soon?"

TAEHYUNG "It's not selfish at all, babo, I'm your fucking soulmate." Taehyung scolds fondly, scanning the streets for a familiar subway station before he makes a pleased sound and heads for it, then gets completely sidetracked by a shop selling coffee out its window. "I'm getting hot chocolate and a coffee for you. What if I bring that to you now, and then I get my kisses?"

He pretends not to notice the way the shop clerk visibly judges him, and steps to the side to wait.

JIMIN "That sounds perfect," Jimin replies with a soft, pleased hum. Hoseok's mentioned stopping back later that night, after Jimin's parents have come home and gone to bed for the night. Coffee's a good idea if Jimin needs some help staying up so late.

He slides his hand under the phone then, holding it to his face as he carefully sits up, smiling now. "That must mean you're pretty close," he says, not bothering to hide the hope in his voice as he tucks his feet under his knees on the bed.

CODE BY TESSISAMESS