hotel_omelas | a day on the beach [dated to 2/9]

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a day on the beach [dated to 2/9]

It's really not warm enough for a beach trip, but maybe that's why they're doing it. It's an impractical trip, a flight of fancy that hadn't been planned or anticipated, a spare afternoon where none of them have other plans, or at least no plans that can't be changed. They have a free few hours and Jin's truck and nothing in the world sounds better than spending a few stupid hours together.

The hyungs all pile into the cab, Jin hyung and Joonie hyung up front, the other two just behind them while Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook make themselves comfortable in the bed. Or at least as comfortable as they can with a few blankets, their cheeks turning a frigid pink as the wind whips at their skin. It's next to impossible to carry on any conversation back there, but that hardly stops them from trying, the three of them screaming and laughing into the wind, rejoicing in the opportunity to just be away from the rest of the world, to exist in just this exact moment with nothing else weighing them down.

Jimin's ears are ringing by the time hyung pulls onto the familiar stretch of beach, body buzzing from the vibration of the truck on the road as he hops out.

It's even colder here than it'd been in the city, the wind rushing off the water, chilling Jimin to the bone despite his big, puffy coat. But it feels amazing, the sand soft under his shoes as he runs up ahead, glancing back at his friends as he comes dangerously close to the edge of the water, hands still stuffed in the pockets of his coat. The dulled sunlight glints off the truck, a little blink as the sun is enveloped in another blanket of clouds.

They've only just got here, still have hours to spend doing just about whatever they want and yet, some part of Jimin is already dreading when it all ends.

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Maybe Jungkook will regret this all a little later, when he finds his skin still salty and sticky from the ocean water, but for now, the soft look of curiosity on Hoseok's face is enough to have made the wading worth it. With a proud grin, he holds his fist briefly over Hoseok's palm before dropping the shell there.

"For hyung," Jungkook laughs, his expression slightly self-deprecating. It's not nearly as nice as the souvenirs that Jungkook's sure that they'd be able to find if they stopped by the shops that line the more popular stretch of the beach — but sometimes Jungkook thinks that with Hoseok, smaller presents like this might mean just as much. The amount of money spent doesn't really matter, and can even be a burden.

Whereas this shell can simply serve as a little symbol of Jungkook's care.

"It looks really pretty on the inside, if you hold it up to the sun," Jungkook nods at the shell, thoughtlessly stuffing his hands back in his pockets and taking a couple steps backward, already curious how many more shells he can collect if he carefully combs through the sand. "Maybe if I find some more, we can make a necklace."

"I don't know," Jimin remarks with a loose, fond smile as he thinks about it. "I think I'd like to be lifted if it's by someone I know. Not by a creature twenty times bigger than myself." He thinks about when Taehyung gives him piggy-back rides or when Jungkook picks him up just for fun. As much as Jimin often hates being so small and slight and soft, he can't deny that he likes when his friends mess around with him like that.

"We could see if the others want to join us," Jimin says, following Namjoon's gaze back toward the rest of the group. It's a dumb idea though, no one else in the group likes crabs quite as much as Namjoon and it's obvious they're all having fun with each other right now as it is. His gaze lingers for a moment on Hoseok then drags to Taehyung before Jimin pulls in a breath and looks back up at Namjoon. "It's kind of nice that it's just us for right now though."

Sometimes Namjoon gets vague and poetic, and all Yoongi can do his shake his head, bewildered but fond. This time, though, he nods, hands buried in his pockets against the cold coming off the ocean. He does know. He looks at the younger boys running and laughing, and he gets it completely. It's how they should be, young and free and uninhibited by parents who don't love them the way parents should, who seek to cut them down in one way or another. Coming out here, out of the city, it's like they left all that behind for a little while. And Namjoon is right — it's how they should be. Like they've been stripped down to a purer state, a more natural one, freed from everything that ensnares them at home.

"Yeah," he says, nodding again. "Maybe if it were just us left, it's how they would be."

It's not fair, he thinks, that the world is so cold and cruel to them. He'd shelter his dongsaengs from all of it if he could. But the world being unfair isn't anything new. All they can do is try to escape it now and then.

He's quiet, then, in the space where one would normally respond. Namjoon can't take his eyes off of his friends, and he feels a dark storm brewing just below the surface of his chest. They all could be this happy. It was possible. If only Namjoon could pull his own shit together and make it happen for them. But...

He knows himself enough to be aware of what follows this dark feeling and he suddenly feels a bit pathetic for letting it even start. He shakes his head and returns to his position, keeping his eyes on the water, on Yoongi. He's not going to let these feelings get to him. Not here, not now.

"Aish, sorry. Look at me, saying how everyone's happy and then making everything sad." He smiles, despite the things his mind was saying, and looks down at Yoongi's bare feet. "Were you going to go in? I think Jungkook was yelling about swimming and knowing him, he'll make it a reputation thing."

Edited 2019-02-09 19:46 (UTC)

Namjoon's gaze also sticks to Taehyung for a moment longer than normal, not that he's aware of where Jimin is looking. A feeling twists in his chest as he automatically assures himself that Taehyung is safe and happy. They all were, and he can stop worrying for now.

"Wait, really?" He turns toward Jimin with light surprise on his face. "I mean, I like it here, but I thought maybe it'd be more exciting for you to spend time with--" Taehyung "--uh, the others, rather than hang out with a weird, boring hyung, picking up crabs."

Edited 2019-02-09 19:46 (UTC)

It's impossible not to wonder what Namjoon is thinking in the ensuing silence, but Yoongi doesn't push. They both get like this at times, quiet where other people would start talking, keeping to themselves what others might share. It isn't born of a lack of affection or trust. It's simply who they are. So Yoongi lets Namjoon keep his silence, watching the waves until the other boy speaks again.

"Thinking about it," he says. "He absolutely will, so maybe I'll beat him to it. But it's going to be cold." He's psyching himself up for that. The waves themselves are inviting, but the thought of the cold water soaking through his jeans holds him at bay. Even the wind is chilly. The water can only be more so. "What about you?"

"Oh yeah," Jimin admits with a soft, not-quite embarrassed laugh. "I don't think so, actually. Where do you find firewood?"

It's more of a rhetorical question than anything as his attention is quickly diverted to the weight of Hoseok's arm around his shoulder, the feel of his warmth so so close. It's nothing he's never felt before, not by a long shot, and it's likely purely innocent. Though Hoseok's ankle is doing a lot better after three days of rest, he's still not at one hundred percent; it only makes sense to use Jimin as a crutch.

But, at the same, there's more to it now. A new layer.

He wraps his arm solidly around Hoseok's middle and tries to ignore the way it makes heat rush all through him as he asks, "You okay, hyung? Need to sit down?"

"Absolutely not!" Namjoon barks out a laugh. It would be loud, but it gets eaten and carried off by the winds. "I don't need to put a toe in to know how unpleasant that is going to be. I'm perfectly happy watching from here, just me and some sand crabs and my very, very average reputation."

"Uh, not to say you shouldn't, though. I'm sure it's... not that bad? Not as bad as we think, maybe?" His eyes scan over the water's surface, the cresting waves, the dull green-grey-blue of it all. He tries not to imagine going in, having just gotten used to the temperature outside, as it is. "Plus, I'm sure everyone will think you're very tough and manly."

Though Namjoon doesn't say Taehyung's name out loud, the implication is loud and clear and Jimin smiles a little, feeling suddenly awkward. Because it's more complicated now, in ways Namjoon doesn't know, ways no one knows but Jimin and Hoseok. And he's too nervous to mention it now, especially considering he hasn't talked to Taehyung yet.

But he only shakes his head as he smiles at Namjoon. "You are not boring, hyung," he argues, cocking his head a little. "Maybe a little weird, but I guess we all are. I like spending time with you even if we're not... you know." He pauses then, considering before he asks, "Are you saying you'd rather be just with Jin hyung right now instead of all of us?"

Yoongi snorts, rolling his eyes. "Yes, so tough," he says, "when I start screaming because it's freezing." Even so, he's psyching himself up to do it. It seems like a shame to come to the ocean and not go in, if only for a minute. At least up to his ankles.

For the moment, though, he's content to stay here with Namjoon. "You're looking for crabs again?" He doesn't entirely understand the fascination, but they're cool, he guesses, and everyone has their thing. Halfway up the beach, the kids are screaming with laughter, and he wonders what the hell they're doing.

Hoseok lifts his hand to examine what Jungkook's just given him, tilting his hand so he can see the sunlight catch on the iridescent inner surface of the shell. He carefully picks it up so he can get a better look, looking at both sides, pretty in different ways like so many things in life, the true beauty hidden by a more unassuming exterior.

"Oh a necklace," he says, looking up at Jungkook with wide, delighted eyes. "That would be really pretty!" he remarks, looking down at the shell in his hand again. "And unique and special, being handmade." He drops the shell into his palm again, curling his fingers protectively around it.

"Have you ever made a necklace like that before?" he asks, casting his gaze out over the ocean for a moment before turning his attention back on Jungkook. "I've never tried, but I always like those sorts of things when I see them in the shops."

Hoseok shakes his head because he honestly has no idea where to find firewood outside of what he's seen in movies, but those people always just seem to find wood right where they need it. He thinks maybe Namjoon or Taehyung might know, or maybe Jungkook. They're all so much more resourceful than Hoseok is, more street smarts, more ambition. He makes a mental note to ask them when the group all comes back together later.

He looks over at Jimin when Jimin speaks again, watches the way the breeze ruffles Jimin's vibrant hair across his forehead, the sun making it look like it's glowing, like his pretty eyes are too, lit up from the inside. He almost forgets that Jimin's asked him a question, too busy admiring Jimin's beautiful face.

"I'm okay," he says with a smile. "As long as you don't mind holding me up a little," he adds with a flirtatious smile.

"No," Jimin replies with a small, warm smile of his own, his arm still wrapped tightly around Hoseok's middle, encouraging him to lean into Jimin. "No, I'll never mind that."

He doesn't miss the flirty little smile on Hoseok's face and can't help giving one of his own in response, his gaze briefly dropping to Hoseok's mouth. They still haven't kissed and, despite knowing that Taehyung would be fine with it and understand, he doesn't want to take that step without at least telling Taehyung first.

But he really really wants to kiss Hoseok. So badly.

"The offer for a piggyback ride still stands," he says, meeting Hoseok's eyes again.

The sweet, mischievous smile on Jimin's face makes Hoseok's heart flutter, makes him lick his lips as he stares at Jimin's, plump and pink and so kissable. He can't kiss Jimin here as much as he wants to, can't taste the salt on Jimin's lips from the sea breeze, can't warm the chill in Jimin's cheeks, but knowing he'll get to do it some day soon makes the ache a little easier to endure.

"I might take you up on a piggyback ride later," Hoseok says, biting his lower lip as he meets Jimin's eyes. "Right now I just want to stay here for a little bit. The view is amazing," he murmurs with a blush, making sure Jimin knows he's not looking at anything but him.

"I'm always looking for crabs, Min Yoongi hyung." He smiles, looking down at his feet, already scanning for the little places they would hide. "Even in the city." He takes a tiny step back, shoes shuffling in the sand as he avoids the tail end of a particularly long wave that crawled up the beach, as if trying to reach them.

Namjoon's head snaps towards the direction of the loud noises coming from the group. At first, startled and concerned by the screams, but it quickly devolves into raucous laughter, making Namjoon hang his head, grinning. "Seriously, I don't think I've ever had that much energy in my life, do you? How did we get this bunch?"

"What, no!" He responds automatically, before even realising it. After a second, he looks down, self conscious and smiling widely. "Once again Jiminie, you're right, of course." He turns back to look at the tidepool again. "I like spending time with all of you. I'm glad we all found time to come here together. The classroom is good, but this is a nice change of atmosphere. We're not trespassing for once, too."

His eyes lock on something, and he carefully kneels down on a rock at the edge of the still water, this time determined not to fall. Once stable, he reaches a hand once again down into the cold crystal of the pool, fingers curling around a very small shell not too far in. Pulling it out, fingers dripping, he inspects it in his palm for a second; a cone shape, about the size of a fingernail, delicate and spiralled, orange-pink and almost sparkling. Once he's determined the shell had no resident, he holds it out to Jimin.

"Here, you can have this one."

It takes a minute for Jimin to realize that Hoseok means him, that he's the view and a laugh startles out of him, soft and touched and a little embarrassed as his cheeks flush warm. He can't imagine that he's really much to look at, especially right now. He's not even wearing eyeliner and has a pimple on his cheek.

But the look on Hoseok's face is so open and so fond that Jimin thinks he could melt under it if he let himself. And that burning urge to kiss Hoseok isn't going anywhere, it seems.

"Mine's pretty good too," he says, ducking his head a little and looking up at him through his eyelashes. "It's funny, we've been here dozens of times, but I don't know that it's ever looked so pretty."

Namjoon's response is immediate and emphatic and Jimin can't help but grin a little as he watches the expression on his hyung's face shift to realization. He can only hope that maybe one day Namjoon will understand and accept that his friendship alone is more than enough, that he is more than enough, that Jimin will always cherish the time they spend together.

Until then, he'll just keep trying to make it clear.

He nods in agreement with Namjoon, still grinning as Namjoon walks along the edge of the little inlet and then kneels. Instinctively, Jimin leans forward, ready to catch Namjoon by the arm should he overbalance again and only relaxing after Namjoon's scooped something out of the water, something small and delicate and shimmery.

"Oh," he breathes when Namjoon holds out to him. Jimin steps in to accept it, holding it carefully in the palm of his hand. He can't help the smile that splits his face when he looks up at Namjoon again. "It's so pretty. If I was a crab, I'd want to make this one my home. I wonder why it's empty."

Hoseok blushes, ducking his head a little, laughing as happiness rushes though him. He wants to argue, to say he's not pretty, not compared to the ocean, not compared to Jimin, but maybe Jimin honestly thinks he is, and that makes Hoseok feel like he could burst with joy.

Jungkook had said there was someone to whom he was precious, and at the time Hoseok hadn't believed that was possible, no matter who this person might be. But now, right now, he feels like it's true, like he really does mean that much to Jimin.

"You're sweet," he says, turning to nuzzle his face against Jimin's shoulder briefly. "You're so sweet. I really, really like you," he adds, a whisper just low enough that the breeze could carry it away if Hoseok's mouth wasn't so close to Jimin's ear.

It's partially the words, but mostly the fact that Hoseok's lips are right next to his ear that sends a thrill down Jimin's spine. He shivers slightly, then laughs again, soft and delighted and resists the urge to pull Hoseok even closer. If things were just a little different, he would. In a heartbeat, he would.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of hearing you say that," Jimin admits, still grinning. There's every chance this could be fleeting, he knows. That if Jin hyung wakes up and looks his way, Hoseok will be there to look back. But for right now, this is his to hold onto and Jimin is going to, as tightly as he can.

He finally forces himself to look away, cheeks still warm as he squints along the edge of the water. "You wanna walk down a bit?" he asks. "We can go slow."

"Can't say that I have, but I bet it wouldn't be impossible for us to figure it out," Jungkook reasons. He's sure that crafting such a necklace is probably harder than it looks, as is typical with a lot of artisan jewelry — it takes a certain amount of practice to keep things looking just uniform enough to be intentional, but not so much that it looks machine-made. But if there's anything that Jungkook likes about himself, it's the fact that he's not afraid of a bit of hard work.

"Like that one could be the center pendant, right?" Jungkook muses, bringing a fist up to his lips and pressing it there in thought. "We'll probably have to drill a tiny hole in it; I don't know how we'll do that, but maybe if I find another shell, we can play around with it and see if it's possible to do without cracking the whole thing. And then, mm, if we find those little shells that look like ice cream cones? A couple of those on the sides of the pendant would be nice, I think."

His lips stretch into a grin as Jungkook takes one step back, closer to the water. "I'll have to look really hard. Maybe if we find seven clam shells, we can all have a matching necklace! Ah, I bet you can probably find some on the dry parts of the beach too, hyung."

Hoseok smiles widely, his chest feeling like it's going to burst, like his ribs are insufficient to hold the happiness in. He's had an idea that Jimin might like him for a few weeks, but actually hearing it, seeing Jimin's face, the way he blushes, his smile, it's so real that Hoseok can barely process it. No one's ever looked at him this way, no one's ever talked to him like this. It's better than he imagined it could be.

"Yeah, let's walk," Hoseok replies, leaning to bump his nose against Jimin's temple when the urge to kiss his cheek is too much. He wants to hold Jimin's hand but he doesn't know if he can yet, if that would be too obvious. It's not that they haven't held hands before, but walking slowly down the beach hand in hand is pretty much the most romantic thing Hoseok has ever considered doing. Instead he wraps his arm around Jimin's shoulders, squeezing Jimin's upper arm before slipping his arm away.

"We should come back in the summer, when we can be warm" he says, shivering now that they're not pressed as close together. "When I can see you in less clothes," he adds, his voice pitched low, gaze focused on the stiff, cold sand.

"They found us," Yoongi says, huffing out a laugh, "and latched on like little puppies. Destructive puppies." Sometimes he wonders what it's like, to have that kind of boisterous energy, as if he isn't perfectly capable of running down the beach, screaming, too. He just doesn't have any particular urge to do so.

Still, for all that he might tease or roll his eyes, he loves them. They're strange kids, but they're his — his brothers, his boyfriend, the only family he's had these last few years or, really, needed. His father might not care about him, but who needs him? If there's one thing he's learned from these boys, it's that family is what you make of it. Blood doesn't mean anything.

Hoseok smiles fondly as he watches Jungkook work out the logistics of making a necklace of seashells. When Jungkook had first mentioned it Hoseok had thought about it briefly, how one could attach a cord maybe, punching a hole or gluing a jump ring on or something, but it had just been a passing thought. Like most things that catch Jungkook's attention, this now has his full attention. Hoseok's always admired that about Jungkook, how he takes even the smallest ideas and latches onto them, gives them the care they deserve. He's really very thoughtful for a boy his age, for a person any age.

"I can see what I can find," Hoseok says, turning his head back and forth to look along the sand, eyes landing on little bumps and shapes that could be shells. "I really like the idea of the matching necklaces," he admits when he lifts his head again. "Something to tie us all together," he goes on, and it isn't until he says it that the idea makes his chest ache a little. "Something physical, I mean," he amends, swallowing past the uncomfortable feeling that's rising.

"I'll meet you back here after I look for a few minutes," he says, quickly turning his eyes away, pretending he's already looking for shells. He doesn't know what it is, but the emotions building feel dark and constricting, something like fear or dread. He doesn't understand what it is or why it's come over him so fast, but he doesn't want to upset Jungkook.

It's a completely innocent touch, just Hoseok's arm draped over his shoulders to pull him in, but it makes Jimin's stomach flutter all over again, more so when Hoseok presses his face right up against Jimin's temple. Even though it's nothing Hoseok's never done before and they're still in this weird state of limbo and it could all easily slip away in a moment, Jimin can't deny how warm and ridiculously happy it makes him.

Hoseok's arm is gone too soon so Jimin steps in a little closer as they walk, murmurs a quiet, "You can use me as a crutch if you need it," as he grins over at him, small and secret.

That smile falters just a little in surprise when Hoseok speaks over him, face immediately flushing warm before he lets out a quiet laugh. "You've seen that before," Jimin reminds him, the tips of his ears feeling warm. It's true though. Not just at the beach, but at practice and on stage, too. Jimin's had to wear little more than tight spandex shorts for one memorable performance. "But, uhm. Yes. We should. We definitely should."

If nothing else, it will give him the chance to see Hoseok in less clothing too. And maybe by then he'll still have permission to look all he wants.

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a day on the beach [dated to 2/9]

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