031119. hoseok & jungkook.

[lovestrippedbare]

SPRING.
March 11, 2019.

WHO hoseok & jungkook
WHAT healing bruises

WHERE nurse's office
TIMELINE cycle 1

JUNGKOOK Word's gotten out. Too noticeable this time, Jungkook assumes - maybe his makeup job was sloppy, or maybe it was a fruitless exercise to try and cover up so much surface area. Lessons are hard to focus on when he can't help but turn over every bit of the conversation with his father in his mind. He had been careful, so careful leading up to his trip to Busan - letting his parents know he'd be out with friends for the weekend, that they can call him if they need him for any reason. Perhaps he hadn't been fully forthcoming with the destination, but Jungkook didn't think it was necessary; all that really mattered was that he was going to be elsewhere, and that he finish any assignments, and that he return home when he said he would.

So how did his father figure it out?

Once asked, Jungkook denied none of it - that he went to Busan, that he had been saving up allowance money to do so, money that was intended to be used for school lunches and other necessary purchases, not for an entire vacation. Because at that point, he knew that lying would only make it worse. But the truth was bad enough, and Jungkook can't help but wonder if perhaps - his jaw hurts, and it's different - unlike all the previous occasions, this time his father intended for Jungkook's shame to be visible.

He asks to visit the nurse's office, and for once, the teacher doesn't ask any additional questions. That's how it usually goes, when things get bad. People put up less resistance, but there's also no outreach, not from the staff. Family matters are private, after all.

Knowing that the rest of the group must have heard by now - he hates this, he hates that this is what it took for his home life to be exposed to all his hyungs - Jungkook sits on the bed and heaves a sigh, his fingers hovering over his phone screen for a couple of minutes before he drops a note in the group chat. He probably can't avoid talking to them forever. Might as well start trying to clean up the mess now.



HOSEOK Hoseok’s already on the way to the nurses’s office to get his pills when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out just as he’s entering the room, his mouth dropping open as he reads Jungkook’s message to the group chat, the blood in his veins turning to ice water, and then immediately going molten.

And then he looks up and Jungkook is sitting right there on the edge of one of the beds, looking small and wounded and more like a child than Hoseok can remember him ever looking. Hoseok can see the dark circles under Jungkook’s eyes even as his gaze is turned down at his own phone, can see the swelling in his jaw, and Hoseok not sure he’s ever been so angry in his entire life.

“Jungkook-ah,” he says softly as he crosses the distance between them, reaching out to rest a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. There are so many things swirling in his brain, boiling anger toward Jungkook’s father, worry about Jungkook’s mental and emotional state, his physical wellbeing, confusion as to why Jungkook’s mother could see her precious son hurt like this and look the other way. All these thoughts and he has no idea what to do.

“Jungkookie, I’m so sorry,” he says softly, because if he can do anything he can be here for Jungkook, however he needs.



JUNGKOOK Perhaps there isn't really a single person who could walk through those doors without drawing out the ache in Jungkook's chest, but there's something that twists uniquely when his gaze comes to a rest on Hoseok. Out of all of his hyungs, Jungkook has always found there to be the most reason to smooth over his difficulties at home around Hoseok, knowing how much Hoseok adores Jungkook's mother, knowing that all this family brings him are things that Hoseok has grown up without. If Jungkook can't give that kind of familial comfort to Hoseok, then at bare minimum, he's always wanted to present the image of it to Hoseok - an attempt, misguided or not, to help maintain Hoseok's belief in the importance of family. Because Jungkook hopes that there's still opportunity yet for Hoseok to build one of his own, somewhere down the line.

He's slightly nervous as Hoseok approaches, heart racing in his chest and a small smile on his lips by the time Hoseok reaches the side of his bed, the mattress caving slightly under the added weight. Carefully, Jungkook presses the lock button on his phone and lays it off to the side, giving Hoseok his undivided attention. Notices that the nurse seems to have left. Maybe she didn't want to deal with any questions or demands.

"I'm okay, hyung," Jungkook says, relaying the first thing that comes to mind. His shoulder relaxes under the weight of Hoseok's hand. "Gotta hate Mondays, huh?"



HOSEOK Hoseok frowns, but only because he knows Jungkook well enough to know that he’s trying to put up a brave front, to take something heavy and make it lighter for the people he cares about. And Hoseok’s leaned on Jungkook so much in the last year, so much more than he should. Jungkook is his dongsaeng; Hoseok should be talking care of him, not the other way around.

“Mondays are the worst,” he says, but he can’t seem to make humor reach his tone. He wants to cup Jungkook’s jaw, get a better look at the damage, he wants to take a train to Jungkook’s house and ask Jungkook’s stepfather how he can so easily hit someone as kind and caring and giving as Jungkook, ask Jungkook’s mother how she can stand by and watch that happen. He wants to grab Jungkook’s hand and take him away from here, take him somewhere safe where he can’t get hurt, can just live and love and be happy.

He could do that last thing, he thinks. He’d have to get another job, but he has enough space in his tiny apartment to shelter Jungkook, could sleep on the couch and give Jungkook his bed. He wants to suggest it, he aches to give Jungkook the safe, loving environment he deserves. But Jungkook won’t leave his mom, won’t risk angering his stepfather by running away.

“What can I do?” he asks, keeping his voice low. “Please, tell me how I can help you.”



JUNGKOOK It's the hardest question for Jungkook to answer, and it shows in his eyes as he meets Hoseok's gaze, lips parted and at a loss for words. He can imagine how frustrating it is, how helpless it must feel to be on the other side of the equation, looking in and watching a loved one get hurt with so little recourse available. But no matter how much Jungkook wracks his brain, he's not sure that there's much that he can offer up for any of his hyungs to do. There are those who would offer him a place, but what would that do but delay the inevitable? He'll have to go back eventually. He'll need his father's support for university tuition - there's no way he can pull together the funds himself, not between so much time spent at school and the paltry income any part-time job would offer. Especially not if he has to think about managing rent and food as well.

If there's anyone who understands that, Jungkook thinks, it's probably Hoseok. Maybe Namjoon as well. It takes everything they have to pull by, and neither of them is adding university to the balance.

Jungkook plays with his hands, pushing thumb against palm, lacing his fingers together and pulling them apart. "I really... don't know," he answers softly, lowering his gaze out of a small, burning sense of shame. His ears are warm, he suspects his cheeks are as well - even if the throbbing in his jaw feels more prominent. "My father's going to be keeping a really close eye on me for at least a couple of weeks now, I think. I don't think I'll just be able to go out. I've been thinking about spending longer hours at yaja, because then at least it's not going home." He tilts his head, lips stretching thin. "I think the worst's already over, though."



HOSEOK Hoseok hates this, hates that Jungkook looks so small and injured and broken, hates that Jungkook’s stepfather has tainted an experience so pure and wonderful and joyful. Because Jungkook should be here today glowing after a romantic getaway with his boyfriend, should be feeling nothing but happiness and love. But instead he’s battered and bruised, and not remotely just physically.

And Jungkook’s right, there isn’t anything they can do. Because even all together they don’t have the power to take Jungkook away from this, to provide for him the way his family can, even if it’s only financially. Hoseok certainly can’t do that on his own; he can barely take care of himself.

And he feels guilty for how his own helplessness makes him ache, because this isn’t about him. He wants to be Jungkook’s hero, but he can’t, he wants to act like the big brother he’s always dreamed of being, but he can hardly hold himself together.

He wants to tell Jungkook that he’d like to tear his stepfather apart, but he doesn’t think that will help. He wants to tell Jungkook that it’s going to be okay, but he doesn’t know that it will be. He hopes with all his heart that Jungkook’s right, that the worst is over, that if Jungkook tows the line from now on he’ll make it through the rest of high school unscathed, but the kind of anger Jungkook’s stepfather has toward him doesn’t behave rationally.

He takes a breath, wrapping his arm carefully around Jungkook’s shoulders. “If you stay late at yaja, I can stay with you,” he says. “If you want.”



JUNGKOOK Jungkook lets the weight of Hoseok's arm anchor him, his shoulders slouching just a touch, his eyes sliding to a heavy rest. Eventually, his mind and body will both slide back into their natural course for recovery. He'll focus his energy on his classes, let himself be distracted by the milling of students around him, and by the time he gets home, the fatigue will be more than enough to overcome any aches or pains. It's not that bad, and this is why he so often refuses to let himself lean on others after a fight - why he lets bruises remain hidden under his shirts. Because most of the time, the worst is over in a couple of minutes at most, and then Jungkook can move on.

The problem this time is the visibility. The problem, this time, is that there's no doubt that Yoongi will feel in part responsible for what happened, even though the trip was theirs, even though they've been planning it for months. Even though Jungkook knows that he wouldn't trade those memories for anything, not even if his father raised his hand for the rest of the week, or longer still.

Getting by has never been Jungkook's problem, it's the fact that it's no longer contained. (And, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, he's not sure how well he'll ever be able to pick himself up again, now that he's had the kindness shown him, now that he's come to rely on his hyungs. Love has a way of occasionally feeling like weakness.)

"It's not too much trouble for hyung?" Jungkook asks, his lips curving into a lopsided grin as he lifts his chin to look at Hoseok again, trying to hold his gaze without letting his eyes grow too wet. "I feel like there's little in the world that's worse than yaja. Though you'd probably be better at my math lessons than I am."



HOSEOK Jungkook’s fighting to hold it together and it’s heartbreaking, watching him grin when the gesture doesn’t reach his eyes, putting up a brave front when he’s so hurt on the inside. And that’s what upsets Hoseok the most, that Jungkook’s stepfather who is supposed to protect and care for him, even if he doesn’t love him, is doing the exact opposite.

Financial support is meaningful, but Hoseok has never longed for his mother to come back because then he might not have to live so meager a lifestyle. It’s her protection he misses so dearly, having someone to take care of him when he’s sick, to comfort him when he’s hurting. Without her he’s spent so much of his life starved for affection, for love, for support. His six friends provide so much of that and he’s so, eternally grateful, but nothing can replace the unconditional love of a parent.

It’s clear Jungkook’s stepfather doesn’t care about him. He probably sees Jungkook as a burden, a financial drain, a potential embarrassment. And Hoseok knows why Jungkook’s mother had to get remarried, that if she didn’t there was a chance Jungkook could have ended up just like him, abandoned to save his mother more hardship. And this, in some terrible ways, is better. Because at least Jungkook still has her, and Hoseok knows she loves him, cares for him, even if she can somehow turn a blind eye to the abuse.

Hoseok wants to understand that, but he can’t. If he ever saw this happen in person, witnessed Jungkook’s stepfather raising a hand to him, there was no way he would be able to stop himself from getting between them, consequences be damned. If he wasn’t worried about it being worse for Jungkook (and useless – he’d put up literally no fight at all) he’d go and confront the inhuman son of a bitch right now.

“Of course it isn’t,” Hoseok finally replies, squeezing the cap of Jungkook’s shoulder, rocking him slightly just once, back and forth. “And I’d be happy to help you with math, if I can,” he adds, trying to keep his tone light, wishing so hard that he could take Jungkook home with him and shelter him from all this badness. “And maybe you can help me with my English?”



JUNGKOOK It helps to shift the conversation elsewhere. Even as Jungkook feels bad about the fact that his jaw must serve as a constant visual reminder to his hyungs that there's pain that they can't shield their dongsaeng from, the one thing he can't help but take comfort from is how their company makes it easier to turn his focus elsewhere. When Jungkook spends too long thinking about his father, he finds that his mind always takes unhelpful turns. Sometimes, he picks apart every little detail about himself, anything less than ideal, that might be a contributing factor to the anger he so often receives from his father. Other times, he thinks about the pattern of their altercations, tracking the frequency, thinking about how many times still inevitably lie between now and graduation. None of it actually helps, but it's hard to keep his mind from grasping at straws in his restlessness.

Thinking about his studies is so much easier.

His body moves easily with Hoseok's encouragement, and Jungkook starts to kick his feet out just slightly, listening to the rustle of fabric and keeping time. "I can try to help with English," Jungkook concedes with a nod and small smile. "Namjoonie hyung's a lot better than I am, though. Teacher always tells me that even though my pronunciation is good, my grammar's kinda terrible." He snickers. "Probably because I spend more time watching shows and listening to songs than I do actually reading my textbook. Some American television's pretty funny, and really short, like only half an hour for an episode. Makes it easy to watch between chores and stuff."



HOSEOK Jungkook’s unwinding, not much, but it makes the ache in Hoseok’s heart ease up just a little, knowing that he’s been able to distract Jungkook, even if only barely. He squeezes Jungkook’s shoulder again, hoping the touch is comforting in its familiarity, that Jungkook knows he’s here to offer his support, however Jungkook needs it, now and always.

“Poor Namjoon tries so hard to help me,” Hoseok says with a soft shake of his head, a little smile, as genuine as he can make it for Jungkook’s sake. “I’m really bad at anything more complicated than basic present and past tense.” He sighs at himself dramatically, intending his antics to be distracting.

“Maybe I should watch some American television shows too,” he muses, shifting his hand to gently massage the muscle between Jungkook’s neck and shoulder with his fingertips, another familiar gesture. “Which ones do you like best?”



JUNGKOOK Every squeeze and press against his shoulder helps to relieve the tension a little bit more. Even though the injuries Jungkook's received this time are mostly elsewhere - jaw and obliques, a little bit around the stomach - Jungkook always finds that he holds much of the tension in his shoulders all on his own, a consequence of how often he's bracing himself for what might come next. And there will be a next time, that much Jungkook is sure of. But for now, it's nice to simply lean into the physicality of it, to let himself remember that in this audience and in this place, he's about as safe as he can get.

"I mean, English is pretty weird, isn't it? Even if you just think about things like spelling, like, why is it that the same sound can be spelled so many different ways?" Jungkook wrinkles his nose. "And yeah, why do you really need more than three tenses? ...but it's kinda interesting though, thinking about how different places made their languages so differently. I bet Namjoon hyung's so good that he can even guess how that might've happened."

Jungkook presses his lips together in thought. "Mmm... there's this one show I really like called Scandal? It ended last year. And then like, there's that really old show that I think Namjoon hyung likes, Friends. Scandal is really exciting and has a bunch of political stuff, and Friends is more simple, it's just about a group of friends who all have pretty different personalities. I think the English in Friends is a lot easier to understand than Scandal."



HOSEOK Hoseok moves to rubbing at the back of Jungkook’s neck, this touch a little less about loosening the muscles and a little more about comforting Jungkook. Hoseok’s never been physically abused so he doesn’t really know what it’s like afterward emotionally, but he thinks maybe a kind touch would be welcome, a reminder to Jungkook that the people who love him will never harm him, will only ever care for him. Of course Jungkook has people he’d probably rather receive these touches from – Yoongi, of course, but likely also Taehyung, Jimin, Jin – but he hopes he’ll do well enough as a substitute for now.

“I always get the order of things wrong,” Hoseok says, thumb brushing against the hair at Jungkook’s nape. “The verb never goes where I think it should. And you always have to remember the subject, even when it’s obvious.”

The conversation isn’t very deep, but Jungkook seems relieved to not have to talk about what happened, that they can just sit here in the low lighting of the nurse’s office and be away from class. Hoseok’s glad he can at least offer a distraction if he can’t do anything else.

“I think I’m going to have to stick with Friends, even though Scandal sounds more interesting,” Hoseok says with a laugh. “I don’t know any English words about politics. I don’t even know how to say ‘politics’ in English!”



JUNGKOOK Jungkook lets himself go slightly limp under Hoseok's fingers, wondering distantly how much tension his hyung can detect in his muscles. Most of the time, Jungkook thinks he probably doesn't carry too much of it around; he's not the type of person who has the capacity to be thinking about all facets of his life at all times, much more likely to focus on whatever's more directly at hand. Today, that tendency is a drawback. Much as he tries to lean into other distractions, the throbbing in his jaw serves as a steady reminder of what he hasn't spared the time to process yet. Maybe it'll be better once he's home, without any other eyes on him.

Maybe. It's always a toss-up, whether the relief of hiding is worth the solitude.

Jungkook bursts into laughter at Hoseok's words. "...come to think of it, I watch Scandal and I can't even think of the word for 'politics,'" he snickers, his shoulders shaking a little as he does. "So yeah, I guess it can't be very good for learning the language then. Friends is kinda fun, though. I feel like the characters must be a little exaggerated though, like not all Americans are like that, because sometimes they do pretty stupid things. But maybe Jin hyung would know..."

He purses his lips with a slight shrug. "We could always go hang out around Itaewon sometime though, if you wanna practice with foreigners and stuff."



HOSEOK The sound of Jungkook’s unrestrained laughter makes Hoseok’s heart feel warm, and he knows that it doesn’t mean the pain (emotional, physical) has dissipated at any, but at least Jungkook’s mind is off what happened a little, even just for a moment, and Hoseok’s glad for it. He brushes his palm up over the back of Jungkook’s hair and then smooths it down the length of Jungkook’s back, a fond gesture, before he moves his hand away. But he doesn’t change his body position at all, stays close so he and Jungkook can bump shoulders, a little connection in case Jungkook still wants it, finds it comforting.

“It’s been a long time since the last time I went to Itaewon,” Hoseok replies, mulling over Jungkook’s suggestion. He’d gone a couple of times with classmates in middle school, but it had always felt a little overwhelming for him, so many people speaking different languages, so many shops and restaurants he couldn’t afford to shop at in his wildest dreams. He’s older now, of course, makes money of his own (though really not enough to spend frivolously), and going there with Jungkook sounds fun, even if the idea of it still makes Hoseok a little nervous.

“Maybe I should watch some Friends first,” he muses. “And then we can go practice? Maybe over the summer?”



JUNGKOOK "You can come over to my house and we can watch Friends together," Jungkook suggests. It's probably not the easiest thing in the world to find it streaming without knowing where to look, and Jungkook's never gotten a perfect idea of what kind of access to the web Hoseok might have. Even when data plans and other networks are affordable, Jungkook knows that the hardware isn't - one of the reasons why his own device has always been a generation or two behind, because the last thing he wants to do is anything that makes his father believe he's being a needless spendthrift. "I'm not sure if mom will really believe it's for studying English, but... ah, well, maybe Namjoon hyung can talk to her about it and convince her sometime. His English is so good, I feel like he could get around anywhere that uses English if he needed to."

He glances off to the side, smiling faintly, wondering what the summer might bring. Wondering where Namjoon and Yoongi might get up to - Yoongi, at least, will probably make some effort to stay around during break, but there's a lot that's out of all of their control, Jungkook thinks. At least while they're beholden to other obligations and under the careful direction and watch of their parents. In that sense, at least Jungkook knows that Hoseok won't be pulled away anywhere without warning, without some element of choice.

"Itaewon in the summer sounds nice. I mean, honestly... mm, I like wandering around the whole city a lot, even if you don't really do anything but look around," Jungkook admits. "There's always a lot to see in every neighborhood. Helps you kind of get away from ours for a while."



HOSEOK Truthfully Hoseok hadn’t really been thinking too hard about how he’d be able to watch any of these television shows; he’d mostly been making conversation, wanting to keep Jungkook’s mind off all the heavy things weighing on him. But once Jungkook makes his suggestion, Hoseok starts considering his options idly.

Really the only time he watches TV at all is at Jimin’s house when his parents aren’t home or at Jin’s place, and he’s sure Jin would be more than happy to let Hoseok use his computer or something, he likes the idea of being able to watch with Jungkook a lot better. “I like that idea, watching with you,” he says with a smile. “Just don’t tell your mom that Namjoon’s a genius,” he adds. “I bet he’d make a compelling argument, though. He’s really great at that kind of stuff.”

Sitting back a little, he crosses his legs at the ankles, looks out across the nurse’s office. It really feels like a sanctuary for them in the moment, not as good as their classroom, but better than being out in the halls, or sitting in class. He lets his mind wander as Jungkook speaks, tries to imagine being in Itaewon with him, warm sun on their bare arms and faces, people of all colors and nationalities milling around, speaking languages Hoseok won’t even be able to identify. He’s a little surprised at how relaxing the idea is, and he realizes it’s because he’s not there alone, that he has Jungkook at his side to keep him from feeling lonely in the crowd.

“I don’t leave the neighborhood very much,” he says. “Wandering the city sounds really nice. We should definitely go to Itaewon. It’d be fun to at least listen to everyone speaking their own languages, even if I won’t understand most of it.”



JUNGKOOK "Mom already thinks that Namjoon hyung's a genius," Jungkook says with a soft shake of his head, lips curled in amusement. "He came over once recently for dinner - mom was making kalguksu and I know it's hyung's favorite - and the conversation was just... wow. He knows what to say to everything. And he knows lots of stuff that I don't think, I don't think most people our age really think or care about. Mom's always talking about how great he is - supporting his family, so smart, so tall." Some people might be jealous of having their parent gush so much over a friend, but Jungkook finds that he loves when his parents have a positive view of his friends. It doesn't hurt that Namjoon's very clearly smarter than Yeongwook, as well.

Jungkook's gaze briefly skirts over to the clock in the room. He wonders if Hoseok has an excuse for being here, something that will lessen the amount of pressure his teacher puts on him - for Jungkook, the excuse is fairly obvious and apparent on his face, but at a glance, it doesn't look like Hoseok's unwell. But Hoseok isn't a troublemaker either, doesn't carry the same sort of reputation for mischief that Taehyung does, or a history of getting into fights as Yoongi has. It's nice, feeling like the two of them can linger here without too many people breathing down their necks, even if this is a luxury that they can only request so often.

"Leaving the neighborhood is great. You'd be surprised how far the basic train fare will take you from our area... or obviously it's fine to walk, too," Jungkook says. He tries not to avoid direct mention of funds or fares, but to be considerate at the same time - that in-between that makes it clear that having more financial struggle isn't something to be ashamed of, but neither is looking for more accommodating choices. "And yeah, I love Itaewon for all the diversity. It's fun to guess what people are talking about just based on their tone, or, I don't know. To sit close to some people speaking in English or some European language, and just pretend that you're in America, or Europe. Not quite as good as globetrotting, but it's not bad, right?"



HOSEOK Hoseok smiles fondly as Jungkook describes Namjoon’s interaction with his mother, able to picture the moment perfectly. Jungkook’s mom is always so sweet to all of Jungkook’s friends, which is part of why it doesn’t make sense to Hoseok that she would just allow her new husband hurt her son. He knows there’s more to it than just being afraid of retribution, that he’s a kid and he doesn’t know how all of this works, but he thinks if he was Jungkook’s real brother (biological or not) he wouldn’t hesitate to put himself between Jungkook and any physical violence directed at him.

Of course there’s a difference between what he’d like to do and reality. He’s not a fighter, isn’t really that strong or sturdy, so he probably wouldn’t be as good a protector as he wishes he could be. But he would try, he knows that much. He wishes he could do it for real, somehow, that he could march into Jungkook’s house and tell his stepfather that he better not lay a hand on Jungkook again. If he thought it would help rather than hurt he absolutely would, no hesitation. But Jungkook needs his family, needs his stepfather at least financially, no matter how horrible a person he is. It’s a terrible situation, and Hoseok hates that he and his friends can’t do anything about it.

At least Jungkook has his mother. She’s kind and doting and loving, and that has to make up for the rest of it, at least a little. Hoseok feels bad for her too, wishes she could choose her son’s physical safety over their collective financial one. He thinks maybe his own mother faced a similar decision, and instead of put Hoseok in danger she left him behind, maybe even hoping someone better would come along and care for him. Even though no one ever has, even though Hoseok’s future will always be marred by this, maybe it was kinder than the alternative.

“I walk quite a bit,” Hoseok says, getting his thoughts back in order. “I just don’t usually have a destination in mind. I wonder how long a walk it would be to Itaewon,” he muses. It’s not that he can’t afford to take the train, he does it all the time. It’s more that he has those train fares budgeted, that he’s already spent more money on tickets than he should, now that he’s sneaking into Jimin’s house more often than he used to.

“I like that idea, though. Going there, listening to the people, pretending we’re somewhere else, far away,” he agrees wistfully. “I wish we could really go,” he says. “Maybe not far away, but somewhere else. All of us, together.”



JUNGKOOK "It probably wouldn't take too long," Jungkook muses, wondering now if he should make a point of walking to places more than simply taking the train. It might help on a couple of fronts - first, in that he would then be able to invite anyone without having to worry about incurring a financial burden; but secondly, choosing to walk instead would make it harder for his father to really keep tabs on him. There wouldn't be any clear drain from the money that's on his transit card, wouldn't be as frequent of a need to top off. Leaving on foot won't be an option if he ever decides to run away, but for occasional escapes, maybe it'd work.

"It's like, twice the distance as from here to Namsan Park, right?" Jungkook frowns in thought. "And Namsan's only like three kilometers away; I can usually walk there in thirty minutes, even faster if I'm feeling up to it. So yeah, maybe it'd only take us an hour or so? Two, if we want to be slower and kind of take in everything between here and there."

He presses his lips together, wondering how his hyungs might enjoy such an outing. Of course, Jin's truck might cut down on any such travel time, but driving in the city feels a little more dangerous - too easy for someone to notice the boys piled in the back, and parking isn't the most convenient for a vehicle of that size. It's different than the time they went to the beach, where there were so many freeways without video surveillance, where no one looked askance at them when they all climbed out of the back.

"But yeah, it'd be nice to get away. I think we can make it work," Jungkook says with a small nod. "We just have to be patient until we're all out of school and have jobs, so that we can save up little by little." He ducks his head briefly, a wry grin pulling at his lips. "I guess others must think we're kinda weird, huh? All of us... it seems like the one thing we all want is to get away."



HOSEOK When Jungkook starts describing the distance, Hoseok imagines it in his head, thinks about how it feels to work for thirty minutes, sixty, ninety. Usually when Hoseok goes walking it’s aimless, but not directionless. He walks toward his friends – Namjoon’s gas station, Taehyung’s convenience store, Jimin’s house, the train station on the way to Yoongi’s, the bakery Jin likes, Jungkook’s favorite ramen place – but he never tries to find them, doesn’t try to see them if he passes by their homes. He’s bad at being lonely, but he also worries about wearing out his welcome.

But he’s used to walking for a long time, and the thought of spending a couple of hours walking with friends by his side is more than a little attractive to him. Especially if they have a fun destination in mind.

But then they’re talking about something else, something bigger than just walking to Itaewon. It’s less urgent for some of them, for Hoseok, but the dream of running away together is one of those things that keeps Hoseok going. His biggest fear is being left alone; he could live and work here forever, he probably will, but his friends shouldn’t. If they go, he wants to go too, all of them together, for years and years into the future. That’s his dream, that’s what he wants most.

“I don’t think we’re weird,” he says. “Whatever anyone else thinks. And, no matter what, I think we should stick together. I mean, that’s what I want,” he says with a laugh. It’s a little louder than he intends and the nurse pokes her head in the room, gives him a look. She’s been lenient so far, probably because of Jungkook’s swollen jaw, but that leniency is probably starting to wear out.



JUNGKOOK Jungkook's gaze flickers up towards the nurse, slightly more nervous than usual. Wary of how any adult might react, always less forgiving of them than Jungkook expects. She's been kind enough thus far anyway, letting two students who are clearly friends to hang out like this, even though a sore jaw shouldn't stop him from being able to read his books or work on his assignments. "Sorry, ma'am," Jungkook says, voice quiet but clear enough to carry, as he bows his head in deference.

But he takes at least the liberty of reaching for Hoseok's hand, giving it a squeeze. He feels better than he did when he first stepped into the office, and maybe that's all that he can ask for right now. It always takes time to pick himself back up.

Maybe it's fine to take that time.

"I think we should stick together no matter what, too," Jungkook says with a small smile. "And hey, if nothing else, it's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon. Stuck here for two whole years. Plenty of time for my hyungs to figure out where we should all go next."



HOSEOK Hoseok bows his head too, offering a sheepish grin. He comes in here for his medication every day, and the nurses here take pity on him often, the poor orphan with narcolepsy. Of course they don’t know he’s only an orphan because his mother abandoned him, that she’s probably still alive out there somewhere, that his father might be too, for all he knows. They also don’t know he doesn’t really need those pills. That’s something no one knows.

After the nurse has gone out again he shares that grin with Jungkook, squeezes his hand right back. “I bet Namjoon has ideas,” he says, happy and relieved to see Jungkook’s smile is reaching his eyes now. “Or Jin hyung. I just want to go where everyone else does. I can be happy anywhere, I think. As long as we’re all together.”



JUNGKOOK The mention of Namjoon causes Jungkook's gaze to grow unfocused for a moment, wondering where his hyung will be in a couple of years. So much of Namjoon's life revolves around his father, is dictated by his father's declining health, and Jungkook's never managed to learn quite enough details to know how long it might go on. How much pain there is, beyond what he sees when Namjoon's facade slips a touch. In two years, will Namjoon's father still be around?

Jungkook hates that he can't really form an answer.

"Jin hyung once mentioned how he should find a way to get us all to the States, hire us all for his restaurant or company or something," Jungkook grins. "For that, I'd be willing to deal with a lot of oil splatters. But... anything will be fine, really." His smile widens. "As long as we're all together."



HOSEOK Hoseok smiles, his heart feeling warm and hopeful just at the thought, the idea of all of them moving that far away, working together, living together, a perfect, happy family. There are a million obstacles to that of course; money’s the obvious issue, but some of them have parents who will insist their sons go to university, and there’s no telling what will happen with Namjoon’s father’s illness, with their own health. But it’s such an amazing thought, a future that Hoseok would love to come true.

“I could work at a restaurant,” he says with a nod. “I’ll wait tables, or wash dishes, I don’t even care,” he adds with a soft laugh.

“It’s such a wonderful dream,” he sighs. “To go far away, somewhere exciting. Fly on an airplane. Live all together, like a family. A real one.” He smiles, squeezing Jungkook’s hand again.



JUNGKOOK Jungkook closes his eyes, letting himself get lost in the vision. Seokjin cooking in the kitchen, Hoseok out front greeting the guests. Jimin would probably be decent at serving tables; Jungkook would inevitably be best at busing them. Yoongi could probably handle the finances fairly well, Taehyung would be great at decorating, and Namjoon... well, Namjoon probably would have been the one to set the initial vision for the place, and would likely be the best at handling the branding. Jungkook's heart aches at how well it all fits, and how unobtainable it feels at present.

Maybe someday.

"You'd be really good at greeting the guests, hyung. When you smile, it's like - it's like all the troubles kind of melt away, you know?" Jungkook points out, carefully sliding off the bed and reluctantly glancing at the entrance to the office, knowing they should both get back to class. "You could make the guests all happy, and then they'd eat more, and we'd earn more. We'd get so rich that way."



HOSEOK Hoseok watches Jungkook as he closes his eyes, the touch of a sweet smile curving his lips for a brief moment before he opens his eyes again, and he wonders what Jungkook was thinking about. He doesn’t have to wonder long when Jungkook speaks, and his own lips curve up when Jungkook mentions his smile, talks about this wonderful dream of a future.

And then Hoseok can see it too, can see himself dressed in a crisp, white shirt, black tie, escorting fancy guests to their tables, making them smile as he greets them with an easy cheerfulness. He sees the others around him too, waiting tables, rushing drinks out from the bar, working hard in the kitchen. And then, at the end of the night, all of them exhausted from a hard day’s work but still smiling, laughing together, having a toast for a successful dinner service. Hoseok knows nothing about working in a restaurant, but he knows it would be the greatest job ever, if he could share it with his six friends, his brothers.

He hops off the table himself, still smiling, so glad to see Jungkook’s spirits lifted, even if only for a few minutes. “We’d have the most successful restaurant ever,” he agrees, reaching out to pat Jungkook’s shoulder. “We should tell Jin hyung we’re ready to work for him,” he says as he walks with Jungkook to the door. “So he doesn’t get any ideas about hiring anyone else.”



JUNGKOOK "I'll bus all the tables super fast," Jungkook laughs, his body leaning slightly more towards Hoseok under the weight of his pat. And even though there's a part of him that feels anything but strong right now, Jungkook still makes a show of flexing his arm as they make their way to the entrance of the office. Sometimes, he wonders if his excursions to the gym are really an attempt to make up for so much of what he feels he lacks. Real strength would have him standing up to his father, finding some better solution than simply taking his abuse. Real strength would have him reaching out to his hyungs, finding ways for them to lean on him, rather than the other way around.

What good are muscles if he can't do any of that?

"Like one of those people you see on those restaurant shows who's like, balancing china on every part of their body. I'll be like that," Jungkook decides with a tilt of his head, nose wrinkling slightly. "We absolutely can't let Namjoon hyung close to the dishes. Especially since I'm sure Tae would have chosen something really artsy for the place settings, and yeah, breaking that would be a lotta money."



HOSEOK Jungkook’s keeping up a brave face, and Hoseok can’t tell if he was able to lift any weight off Jungkook’s shoulders or if Jungkook is trying to make it look that way for his sake. Either way Hoseok isn’t going to prod at him. This is an impossible situation, no way to get Jungkook away from his stepfather and still give him a stable future, no chance of convincing Jungkook’s mother that his safety is more important than their security. This isn’t something you can solve with hugs and ice cream, likely not a one time occurrence. It’s real and scary and Hoseok hates that there’s almost nothing he can do.

He’s put a smile on Jungkook’s face at least, and he tries not to stare at Jungkook’s jaw, keeps their light, pleasant conversation going as long as they can stall before going back to class.

“I can totally see you doing that,” he remarks, the image coming easily to mind, Jungkook’s arms loaded with plates, balancing silverware and glasses. “We’ll keep Joonie far away from anything breakable,” he adds with a laugh. “Maybe he can, I don’t know, do the books or something,” he wonders aloud. “He’s pretty good at math, yeah? And the English would be great for business too, I bet.”



JUNGKOOK "He can do all the things that require smart people," Jungkook agrees, letting himself get further and further lost in the daydream. Perhaps jetting off to America is a bit of a stretch, but Jungkook starts to wonder now, how far-fetched it would really be to open up a restaurant closer to home. The biggest potential barrier, Jungkook imagines, must be the consternation that Jin would face from his father. But with Jin having an older brother, would it matter as much to have the younger branch off and do his own thing?

Of course, Jungkook shouldn't ask that much of him without being sure that it's something Jin would want. But it's hard to imagine Jin saying no to the idea of a business like this, where above all, he gets to keep the people he loves close.

"Like taxes, and like... I don't know, inventory? Isn't that something restaurants have someone taking care of? And yeah, he'd be great for greeting anyone visiting from overseas," Jungkook smiles, though the expression fades a touch as they step out into the hallway, Jungkook glancing down either side. Being in different years, their classrooms aren't all that close. Is it foolish of him to want to cling just a little longer?



HOSEOK Hoseok sees Jungkook looking down the hall, toward his own class and then toward Hoseok’s, and Hoseok was supposed to be back in his seat a long time ago, but at this point the teacher probably doesn’t expect him to come back. Jungkook hasn’t asked why he was in the nurse’s office in the first place, and he never did manage to get his pills, but none of it really matters. He doesn’t need the medication anyway.

So he starts walking in the direction of Jungkook’s class, but not very quickly. When they arrive Jungkook can go inside, or they can keep walking, all the way down the hall and around the corner. Hoseok’s planning to follow Jungkook’s lead, let it be Jungkook’s choice.

“Yeah, ordering and stuff probably,” Hoseok says, not that he’s an authority on how a restaurant works. “Also there has to be some kind of marketing, right? Like flyers and stuff? So people know to come in and try the food. I bet Namjoon would be good at that too. And Tae could draw the flyers!”



JUNGKOOK "As long as the flyers aren't entirely handwritten," Jungkook says, eyes narrowing at the memory of the strange signature that Taehyung had used for the prank Valentine's gift from himself and Jimin. All these days later, Jungkook still finds himself completely unable to decipher even a single letter of that signature. He's not really sure where Taehyung drew the inspiration from, but as stylish as the pen strokes may have looked, it doesn't do much for legibility.

"But yeah, Namjoon hyung would be really good at marketing. And like, concept work too, right? He could probably work all of those little details into the restaurant décor, and maybe even give Jin hyung ideas on what kind of stuff to put on the menu that would be appropriate for the theme. Those two would work really well together for that," Jungkook nods, smiling for a second before his gaze lifts and some of the tension returns to his shoulders, knowing they've got precious little time left. But yaja, Jungkook reminds himself. Hoseok said he'd come over during yaja.

It won't be too long before then. (Wasn't he once better at this? At shouldering everything by himself, no need to lean on others?)

"We should bring it up," Jungkook murmurs, keeping his voice down once they're outside of his classroom, his steps coming to a pause. "Even if it's just a dream for now. I think... I think everyone would like it."



HOSEOK Jungkook’s right, Namjoon and Jin would work really well together in that sort of thing. Or any sort of thing, really. All of Hoseok’s friends are so creative and talented and smart, and this dream is really a great one, all of them working together, building something together. The hardest part for Hoseok is seeing himself as a part of it, as someone who contributes more than his elbow grease, a body filling a role. He doesn’t have much to offer beyond that, is an average student, can’t draw, doesn’t have good ideas.

And maybe that’s always been the thing, that he’s hoped his friends would make space for him in their lives, even though he hardly deserves it. If he tries hard he can see himself there, though his heart hurts a little when he realizes how complete it feels without him.

They’re standing just outside Jungkook’s classroom, and Hoseok offers Jungkook a smile, reaches up to squeeze his shoulder again before moving his hand away. “I think everyone would like it too,” he says with a smile. “It’s not a bad thing to dream about. I don’t think anyone would mind a good dream.”



JUNGKOOK They had talked about it once, perhaps a year or so ago - a conversation about what dreams each one of them had. At the time, Jungkook had offered up the excuse of wanting the information to better help him with a school essay, but in truth, a part of him had been curious to know what his hyungs yearned for. What things would make each one of them happiest. Only their answers had turned out to be not only scattered, but sometimes a little bleak; no matter how many times Yoongi reiterated that it was fine not to have a dream, Jungkook couldn't help disagreeing. Couldn't help but think that there was something quietly sad about not having some defined point to look forward to down the line.

Maybe he's only being naive, clinging onto dreams that strike his fancy, even if the odds of them being realized are low. Maybe someday, it'll hurt as the door closes on each one of these dreams.

But for now, it's a better reality than the one he lives in, and it gives Jungkook quiet comfort as he glances into his classroom, smiling as Hoseok squeezes his shoulder.

"I'll bring it up next time we're together. In the classroom," Jungkook says quietly, taking one step towards his class. He glances over his shoulder, reaches out for Hoseok's forearm and gives it a soft squeeze. "...thank you, hyung."



HOSEOK Hoseok wants to tell Jungkook he doesn’t need to thank him, that this is what friends do, what brothers do, but really if he were any kind of brother he’d find out how to do something more. He can’t provide for Jungkook, he can’t care for him like a parent, he can’t protect him. All he can do is love him and comfort him, and those things come easily, instinctually. He’d put his life on the line for Jungkook, without question. But he can’t risk Jungkook getting hurt, he can’t get in the way now without it coming back to hurt Jungkook in the end.

“Always,” Hoseok says instead, turning his hand so he can squeeze Jungkook back. “I’ll see you in yaja tonight, okay?” he adds, hoping his smile is encouraging, that maybe their conversation can keep Jungkook’s spirit up even just for a little while. He wants to tell Jungkook he loves him but he can’t, not with so many students so near, people who won’t understand what it means.



JUNGKOOK As Jungkook slides the classroom door open and looks at his classmates, already he can feel a number of gazes that turn in his direction, conversations that are halted by his presence. It's the same type of reception he received when he first stepped into class earlier that morning, and Jungkook doesn't doubt that there's been any amount of gossip since then, probably heightened by his brief absence in the nurse's office. He licks his lips, cheeks flushing slightly. It's okay. It's fine.

Any judgment that might come to pass is probably balanced by those of his classmates who are concerned about his well-being.

The love of his hyungs.

So Jungkook turns back to Hoseok with a smile and a nod. Perhaps there's no way for today to feel normal, but this too shall pass, and it's easier to keep his chin up with the promise of something better in a few hours.

"See you, hyung," he says, bowing his head before making his way to his desk.


CODE BY TESSISAMESS