022019. hoseok & jimin.

[lovestrippedbare]

WINTER.
February 20, 2019.

WHO hoseok & jimin
WHAT intimacy and confessions

WHERE hoseok's apartment
TIMELINE cycle 1

HOSEOK They’ve done this so many times since they started dancing together at the studio, practicing together after class, having a late dinner at the cheap noodle place a block away, walking home together (or at least to the train station). Since Hoseok moved into his apartment they’ve gone back there more often than not, to eat or talk or study together, so Jimin doesn’t have to go home to the coldness of his parents’ neglect, so Hoseok doesn’t have to be alone.

Tonight is like any other night. Except that it’s not.

They’ve finished eating, their bellies full and faces warm from the noodle broth, sitting side by side on Hoseok’s well used but comfortable couch. As the food had dwindled, Hoseok had started to get more and more nervous, and now that he no longer has something to do with his hands he finds himself fiddling with the hem of his sweatshirt, looking down at his knees.

He’s anxious, but he wants this, he wants Jimin. He needs Jimin to know he wants him.

Untangling one hand from his shirt he reaches over, finds Jimin’s hand, laces their fingers together as he turns to meet Jimin’s eyes. “Hey, I really like you,” he says, a hint of a smile on his face, a little tease, because it’s obvious he more than likes Jimin.



JIMIN Everything feels so tense and awkward and Jimin already hates it. He knows why, of course, knows it's because he's messed up and nervous and hadn't responded to Hoseok's flirting the right way, that he's being dumb and anxious and making everything worse for Hoseok who's just wants a normal relationship, just wants to touch his boyfriend like he should be allowed to do, how Jimin wants to do if he could just get out of his own stupid head.

Hoseok reaches over for him, clearly just as nervous, and Jimin doesn't know whether to apologize for that or find some relief in it, but he holds on tight either way and lets out a breath, immediately leaning in closer to Hoseok, pressing their shoulders together. I helps to ground him a little and he smiles finally, small but genuine.

"Just like me?" he asks, his voice carefully teasing as he stares down at their hands, the delicate bumps of Hoseok's knuckles. "Taking back the love declaration already? It's only been a few days."



HOSEOK Hoseok knows Jimin’s joking, or at least it sounds like he is, but he also knows that Jimin’s really sensitive as far as Hoseok’s feeling for him go and he doesn’t want to risk hurting Jimin, even unintentionally. “I’m never taking that back,” he says, squeezing Jimin’s hand in his own. “I’m planning to love you forever.”

He can’t promise they’ll be together forever (he knows intimately that sometimes even love isn’t enough to keep people in your life), but he feels like he will always love Jimin, no matter what else happens.

He shifts even closer to Jimin on the couch, moving to rest their joined hands on his thigh so their legs can press together. “Do you want to, um,” he starts, glancing at the side of Jimin’s face and then looking back down at their twined fingers. “Do you want to go to the bed? Or stay here?” He clears his throat. “I mean, we don’t, uh. I thought we could just kiss and then, you know, see what happens.”



JIMIN There's a difference, Jimin knows, between planning and promising. Maybe he should want the promise, but he finds he's strangely relieved that Hoseok goes for the other one. It feels more legitimate that way, less empty. Jimin's given his fair share of promises too, even about this, but he knows where he stands on things, has had months and months to know how he feels for Hoseok. Hoseok's had less than a week.

"Uh," he replies dumbly in response, still holding tight to Hoseok's hand as he feels his cheeks go warm. He laugsh then, quiet and nervous as he ducks his face against Hoseok's shoulder. "Why does this feel so awkward? Aish, I'm bad at this. What do you want?"



HOSEOK “I’m bad at it too,” Hoseok replies, cupping the back of Jimin’s head with his free hand, stroking Jimin’s hair. “Let’s… Is the bed okay?” he asks, because it’s been a week and a half since they first kissed in Jimin’s bed (since they did more than just kissing) and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it, has a difficult time thinking about anything else when he’s laying in his own bed alone.

“I mean, let’s just, you know, like we did before,” he says, smoothing his fingers down onto Jimin’s neck, touching the skin at Jimin’s nape. “I think it’ll be less awkward once we, you know, get into it.” The words sound stupid once they’re out and Hoseok laughs nervously, shaking his head.

“I want to make out with you,” he says, trying again. “Let’s go make out. In my bed. Okay?”



JIMIN Hoseok's probably right, Jimin thinks. They'll probably relax once they're laying down and just... ease into things like they had the last time. It's at least what Jimin wants to believe, though his thoughts get derailed for a second when Hoseok touches him, when he says those words, making Jimin's stomach swoop in a good way.

"Yeah, let's... let's do that," he says with a soft, awkward laugh. Fingers still laced with Hoseok's, he tugs him to his feet and walks him to the bed, only a few feet away, letting go only so he can crawl onto Hoseok's mattress, scooting over enough to give Hoseok room next to him and laying down on his side, head propped on his hand. His heart is already pounding, but it's not threatening to send him into a panic at all, just a steady, excited thrum as he waits.



HOSEOK Jimin looks so beautiful, resting on his side in Hoseok’s bed, leaning on his hand, expression nervous but heated, like a painting, like something so much better than anything Hoseok deserves. But Hoseok is selfish and he likes Jimin so much, he wants Jimin so much, and he’s going to give Jimin everything he possibly can, even if it’s nowhere near everything Jimin deserves.

He crawls slowly into his own bed, reaching out to touch Jimin’s cheek with the tips of his fingers, following the curve to trace his jaw, the side of his neck. He cups Jimin’s shoulder and gently eases him onto his back, aligning himself with their hips pressed together, side by side, just like they did when they’d started kissing last time in Jimin’s bed. He doesn’t want to rush, to make Jimin more nervous than he already is, pressing his palm over Jimin’s rapidly beating heart.

“Jiminie,” he says, dipping his head to brush a kiss to Jimin’s soft, plush lips. “I love you,” he whispers, bumping their noses together before pressing into another short, shallow kiss.



JIMIN There's a definite care in Hoseok's movements as he crawls onto the bed, his touch light on Jimin's cheek, tracing down the curve of Jimin's chubby jaw and along his neck. The touch sends another thrill down Jimin's spine and he shivers a little before Hoseok slides in closer, gently pushing Jimin onto his back and then lining up beside him. His warmth is a comfort, even more so when Hoseok lays his hand on Jimin's chest and leans down for a sweet kiss.

The ball of anxiety in Jimin's belly unwinds a little under Hoseok's words, melting into a sight as he rests one hand on Hoseok's side, feeling up over his shirt and then clinging gently to the fabric. "Never going to get tired of hearing you say that," he admits with a soft laugh, lifting his head up enough to bump his nose to Hoseok's before tipping up for another kiss. It starts out soft, just like the last one, but after a moment, Jimin flicks his tongue out for a light taste, dipping in shallowly.



HOSEOK It’s easy to melt into the kiss, so much easier than maybe it should be because they’ve only been kissing each other for a little over a week, because Hoseok’s only kissed one other person and not enough to be good at this, to be practiced. But kissing Jimin feels more like home than any place Hoseok has ever lived in his life, at least that he can remember, it feels right in a way nothing else does. He loves it, could do it for hours and hours and still not want to stop, could spend his whole life kissing Jimin and still want more.

They open up to each other unhurriedly, lips parting and tongues stroking, tasting, feeling. Hoseok’s pulse rises, steadily and slowly, along with his body temperature as the kisses get deeper, wetter, and soon Hoseok is carefully moving so he can rest against Jimin, half on top of him the way they’ve done once before.

He’s just as hard this time too, has been on the edge of turned on all day, since he and Jimin started texting, since they’d kissed on the way to the studio. He shivers into the kiss they’re sharing now as he thinks about it, the “long way” they take on their walk after school, the cluster of dumpsters by some industrial buildings where they can tuck themselves away. It’s kind of gross, having to kiss surrounded by garbage, but it’s romantic too, having a place that’s just theirs, a secret place where they share their secrets, can steal touches they can’t have in public. Hoseok loves that place, loves everything they’re building together.

He groans softly against Jimin’s mouth, rolling his hips carefully down against Jimin’s thigh, letting Jimin feel how aroused he is, how much he wants him. They could just do this again, rocking against each other until they come int their pants, and Hoseok wouldn’t mind (except for the stickiness, of course). But he’s ready to try more now too, to see more, if Jimin’s ready too.

Gently he strokes his hand down Jimin’s side, feeling his ribs, the jut of his hip, the muscle of his upper thigh and then back up, fingertips digging a bit into the edge of Jimin’s abdomen before relaxing, skimming along the hem of Jimin’s shirt, skimming along the sliver of bare skin. “I want you, want to touch you,” he whispers against Jimin’s kiss swollen lips, swallowing against the way his voice shakes.



JIMIN Though they've only been doing it for a little over a week or so, Jimin's already found kissing Hoseok to be so, so easy. Maybe it's all the months Jimin spent imagining it, wondering how Hoseok's lips might feel, or maybe it's the few months he's spent with Taehyung, the things he's learned that he can pull from now. Maybe it's none of that and all of it, maybe it's just that Hoseok has always been capable of putting him at ease, even since that very first day. Hoseok makes him feel safe.

Whatever the case, it's easy for Jimin to open up, easy to let Hoseok lick into his mouth, to meet the press of his tongue and roll his hips when Hoseok shifts to lay half on top of him, straddling his thigh. The anxiety doesn't vanish entirely, every point of contact sending little prickles all up his spine, making his chest seize tight and his head start to swim. It's not bad though, not really, not even when he feels the hard press of Hoseok's cock against his thigh.

That... it feels good, if he's honest, makes his heart thud in his chest. Because it means Hoseok wants him, wants him. He doesn't even need Hoseok to say the words, he can feel it.

His breath still catches when Hoseok does say it out loud, muscles tensing as Hoseok slides a hand up his side, fingertips dancing over bare skin. Eyes wide and locked on Hoseok's, he exhales against Hoseok's mouth, shaky and a little unsure before he manages to find his words. "Wait," he breathes, dropping one hand to rest it over Hoseok's, stilling him. He doesn't feel panicked, doesn't feel like his vision is going dark, but his nerves are flaring, spiky and annoying. "Like, uhm... just. Just above there right now? If that's... is that okay?"



HOSEOK Hoseok takes a breath but he nods immediately, feeling the tremor in Jimin’s fingers as he presses his hand over Hoseok’s, holding him still. The way they’d talked before it had been about seeing more than touching, but Hoseok had forgotten, lost in the moment. Touching’s too far maybe, too much; he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, what the rules are.

“It’s okay,” he says, relaxing his grip on Jimin’s side, touching the skin above the waist of Jimin’s pants with his thumb, a careful brush. He leans down and kisses Jimin’s lips again, slow but deep, keeping his hand where it is on Jimin’s side, fingers splayed, only his thumb touching Jimin’s skin.

He’s still turned on but he’s very aware of the position of his body, of how he moves as they kiss. He always worried he’d do this wrong when it came down to it and he’s already making mistakes, if only small ones. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, what he’s supposed to do, what he’s allowed to want. Maybe there are things Jimin only wants with Taehyung, or things he just doesn’t want with Hoseok. Maybe Hoseok just isn’t very good (he knows he isn’t), though he’s not sure how to get better on his own. All he does know is that he doesn’t want to screw this up.

So he doesn’t grind down hard, even though his body is aching for him to, doesn’t move his hand from Jimin’s side. He just kisses Jimin, slow and sweet, focuses on that and how nice it feels, warm, perfect.



JIMIN While Jimin doesn't at all expect Hoseok to argue or to push anything, his immediate agreement is something of a relief and Jimin lets out a low, quiet sigh in response, anxiety melting off his skin as he presses up for more kisses, licking lightly into Hoseok's mouth. Each one leads into another, wet and slick and growing hungrier by the moment as heat pools in Jimin's stomach. Hoseok's still largely hovering over him, is still clearly being careful of where and how they're touching and Jimin sighs, both grateful and impatient.

He pulls back a moment later, heart pounding and lips tingling as he slides his hand lightly up Hoseok's arm, curling over his elbow and then dipping his fingertips just beneath the loose arm of Hoseok's t-shirt.

"I'm--" he starts, nervous but not scared as his lips crack into a bare smile. He doesn't know how to put into words what he wants to say, so he shakes his head then and shifts a bit, away from Hoseok enough to get leverage before rolling Hoseok onto his back. He hesitates there too as he slides his hand down the front of Hoseok's shirt, toying with the bottom hem for a moment as he meets Hoseok's eyes. "Can I take this off?"



HOSEOK Hoseok’s so lost in their kisses that he’s dizzy when Jimin eases back, his eyes coming open slowly to focus on Jimin’s beautiful face. His lips are shiny and beestung, his eyes hooded and dark, and a shudder of desire works its way through Hoseok. He holds his breath as he waits fo Jimin to speak and gasps when Jimin grabs his arms and switches their positions, his heart racing as he looks up at Jimin from his back.

It takes Hoseok a moment to understand what Jimin’s asking, trapped in the haze of arousal, and then all he can do is nod, half sitting up so Jimin has better access to get his shirt off.

Jimin’s seen him topless a lot, has seen him naked a fair few times in the changing room at the studio. Hoseok has never been shy or anxious about his body and he’s not now, either. At the same time, this is a big deal for them. Hoseok’s never had someone else take his shirt off for him, has never felt so much like the object of anyone’s attraction. Jimin wants to see him naked right now, or at least shirtless, wants to touch his skin, and it’s making him tremble, making his pulse skip in his throat.



JIMIN Hoseok's shirt gets caught a little on his head and Jimin laughs, grateful for the humor that breaks the tension a bit. His hair gets a little messed up and, giggling, Jimin smooths it back with one hand before letting his gaze wander to trail down the smooth expanse of Hoseok's bare chest.

It's far from the first time Jimin's seen him shirtless, but it's never been like this. They're alone for one. Touching. Hoseok wants him.

He lets out a shuddered breath and drops one hand to Hoseok's chest, dances his fingers down Hoseok's sternum. "You really are so so beautiful," he murmurs, his cheeks flushing warm. There's so much skin to touch, so much Jimin wants to touch despite his nerves. He lets his hand smooth lower little by little, tracing down the gentle bumps of Hoseok's ribs, the edges of his abs. "This okay?"



HOSEOK Hoseok’s heart stutters in his chest under Jimin’s heated, loving gaze, and he can feel his skin going hot with a blush from the attention, from the way Jimin reaches out to touch him like he’s something precious. His breath hitches when Jimin calls him beautiful, when Jimin’s fingers move along his skin, tracking downward, and he isn’t coming close to Hoseok’s groin, but that doesn’t mean Hoseok’s dick isn’t interested as it throbs between his legs.

“It’s okay,” he replies, his voice low and breathless, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing. “You can touch me anywhere,” he says, lifting his hand to stroke along Jimin’s arm, encouraging but not guiding. “I want you to touch me everywhere.”

He hopes it’s not too much, admitting that right now. He’s fantasized about Jimin before, and not just since they started dating. He’s thought about Jimin’s hands on him, about their bodies pressed together, about touching Jimin and making him moan, making him come. He knows it’s too soon, but he can’t help how much Jimin turns him on, how much he wants him, how much he wants Jimin to know.



JIMIN Jimin can feel the rushed thump of Hoseok's heartbeat beneath his palm as he slides his hand up again, holding it there for a moment as he meets Hoseok's eyes. Those eyes are wide and dark and completely locked on him and Jimin nearly shudders under the weight of it, overwhelmed by the hunger he sees there. And the trust.

"Everywhere?" he asks, feeling a little bolder as he continues smoothing his hand over Hoseok's chest, around to the other side until his fingertips hit the mattress and then back up again. He lets himself touch a little lower too, down to Hoseok's hip, thumb brushing the curve of muscle that disappears under his waistband. "You're leaving that kind of wide open."

He doesn't wait for confirmation or reassurance as he slides his hand up again, this time pausing with this thumb just below Hoseok's left nipple. Jimin hesitates just for a second, licking his lips thoughtfully before he drags his thumb over the peaked skin, eyes trained Hoseok's face.



HOSEOK Hoseok feels himself trembling as Jimin’s hand moves over him, tracing the barely there edges of his muscles, feeling his skin. He can’t help the shaky sigh that comes out of him when Jimin’s thumb brushes low on his hip, so, so close but also far away, a tease but not a mean one, a promise for the future, a hint toward what Jimin might eventually want.

“I’m wide open for you,” he says, then laughs breathlessly at his own words. “Really, though. I’m yours, all of me.”

And then Jimin touches his nipple and Hoseok can’t help his reaction, the way his back bows, shoulders pushing into the mattress, head tipping back as he moans. He feels momentarily dizzy, blood rushing into his groin as his cock twitches in his pants, leaks more wetness into the fabric of his already damp underwear. “Jimin,” he whimpers as he focuses his eyes on Jimin’s face again, meets Jimin’s hungry expression. “Feels good, feels really good.”



JIMIN Hiding a smirk, Jimin arches an eyebrow at Hoseok's reply, amused and a little intrigued by his wording. It's mostly a joke though, he can tell, at least if the little bit of color to Hoseok's cheeks is anything to go by.

Then again, Hoseok's cheeks have been pretty pink for the last while as it is.

He doesn't have time to ask, however, as Hoseok jerks and gasps against him and Jimin's eyes fall wide, surprised by the immediate response. Hoseok's eyes are dark, the look on his face seemingly mirroring Jimin's and Jimin can't stop staring, breath caught in his chest as he repeats the touch, lets it linger experimentally before swirling.

"Are you...?" he asks, trailing of for a second before deciding to find out the answer for himself, lowering gently until he can feel the press of Hoseok's erection, gasping softly at the sensation.



HOSEOK Hoseok lifts his head a little, sees Jimin’s gaze trained on his crotch and laughs nervously. “Yeah,” he says, even though there’s no need to answer when Jimin’s definitely already seen how hard Hoseok is for him. “Of course I am,” he adds, swallowing hard as he relaxes back on the bed. “I have your hands on me.”

And then he does something bold, something he hopes Jimin won’t mind, moving his own hand to cup himself, to squeeze his cock through his pants. He moans softly at the contact, his eyelashes fluttering before he focuses his gaze on Jimin’s face again.

“You turn me on so much, Jimin,” he says, pressing the flat of his palm down against himself, rubbing just a little. “So much.”



JIMIN He says it so easily, like it's some kind of foregone conclusion, like Hoseok couldn't possibly help being turned on so long as Jimin is touching him. The idea that it might be true is more than a little intoxicating, Jimin's blood running warm as he stares down at him, still circling Hoseok's nipple with a single finger.

But he stills a moment later, gaze catching on the slow movement of Hoseok's hand, sucking in a breath as he watches Hoseok spread that hand over his crotch, rubbing himself through his pants.

"God," Jimin breathes, rolling his own hips forward, grinding against air as he smooths his hand lower to palm Hoseok's bare side. He laughs then, quiet and a little embarrassed as he ducks his head against Hoseok's shoulder. Murmurs, "You make me want so many things."



HOSEOK Hoseok shivers at the way Jimin’s hand moves over him, touching his naked chest. He’s wanted to feel someone’s touch like this for so long, has been wanting to feel Jimin’s specifically for the last few weeks, and it makes his heart race, makes his entire body feel tingly and hot, makes him want more more more.

He takes a long, deep breath, trying to calm himself a little, giving his cock another squeeze to ease the ache. “Tell me?” he asks carefully, lifting his other hand to brushes through the hair at the back of Jimin’s head. “What do you want, Jimin?”



JIMIN At first, Jimin can only laugh again, shaking his head like he's trying to brush it aside.

But Jungkook had advised him of just this exact thing, had pointed out that Jimin might feel more comfortable about things if he talked about it first. This is different from doing it through text or even over the phone, of course, it's much more immediate and a lot more embarrassing, but Hoseok can at least not see his face like this. So he pulls in another breath as he slides his hand up again, brushes his thumb over the tight peak of Hoseok's nipple.

"You know," he starts, keeping his head lowered, lips brushing the bare skin of Hoseok's shoulder. "Like... I want to get see you. All of you. I want to touch you. I want, uhm... I want to get my mouth on you." Ignoring the heat in his cheeks, he adds, "I want to know how your come tastes."



HOSEOK “Oh,” Hoseok moans before he can stop himself, the muscles in his abdomen going tight with want. He’s not experienced at all and not even all that knowledgable about sex, but the idea of Jimin putting his mouth on him like that is enough to make his face go hot and his eyelashes to flutter. He can’t help the mental images either, can’t keep himself from imagining what it might look like to see Jimin’s beautiful, perfect lips wrapped around him, see Jimin’s eyes looking up at him.

He winds his fingers into Jimin’s hair, tugging lightly, rubbing his other palm against the ridge of his erection, straining inside his pants. “That sounds so good,” he murmurs, turning his head to press a damp kiss to Jimin’s temple. “Your mouth is so pretty, Jimin. Your hands too, so sexy.” He swallows hard, curving his fingers around himself and stroking as much as he can through layers of fabric.

“I think, I think I’ll probably think about that when I’m alone,” he says, tone low and a little embarrassed, but husky too. “About you doing that, about you going down on me.”



JIMIN Jimin can't help but notice that Hoseok's still touching himself. It isn't too blatant, hand resting over his crotch for the most part until Hoseok grinds the heel downward and arches a little. There's a part of Jimin that wants to replace Hoseok's hand with his own, to feel the length against his palm even through the hard fabric of denim.

But he holds back, still anxious about doing it wrong, strangely nervous despite the fact that Hoseok's naked from the waist up and blatantly touching himself while Jimin touches his nipple.

"You should tell me," he says, feeling bold in that much at least as he pinches Hoseok's nipple between his thumb and forefinger. It's not a hard touch at all, not like when Jungkook is messing around and dolling out playful punishments. This one is entirely intended to make Hoseok arch and whimper for him again, to make him feel good. "Next time you're alone and touching yourself, tell me, okay? Tell me when you're thinking about me, what you're thinking of me doing with you."



HOSEOK Hoseok gasps as Jimin plays with his nipple, bolts of pleasure zinging down his spine, his back arching as he pushes into the touch. It makes his cock throb harder and he wants to touch himself for real so badly, especially now that they’re talking about it. For now he keeps squeezing himself and rubbing at himself a little, just to take the edge off.

“I’m thinking about you right now,” he says, breathless, dizzy. “I’m thinking about you opening my jeans and touch, touching me,” he goes on, voice hitching as Jimin continues to touch and flick and pinch his nipple. “Fuck, Jimin, your hands feel so good,” he groans, bending his knees so he can push up against his hand. “God, I want you. You make me so, so hard, you’re so hot, fuck.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, shaking under his own touch and Jimin’s too.

“Can, can I take my pants off?” he asks carefully, staring up into Jimin’s beautiful, dark eyes. “Just my pants, I promise.”



JIMIN Even after what they've already done with one another, the heated words and desperate kisses they've shared, Jimin finds he's still completely awed by the idea that Hoseok wants him at all. But there's no denying the hunger in Hoseok's words, the sheer desire, no denying how incredibly warm and wanted and sexy it makes Jimin feel.

He can't help a groan as it washes over him, can't help the low pulse between his thighs as he watches Hoseok arch up against his own hand, stares at his red lips and red cheeks and red flush of his chest.

"Fuck," he breathes in response, heart pounding and gaze locked on Hoseok's for a moment before he quickly nods and pushes to sit up. "Yeah. Yes." He shifts far enough to get out of the way and doesn't ask permission before taking his own shirt off. Cool air brushes his overheated skin and he shivers just a little, a sliver of anxiousness crawling back in before he reassures himself that Hoseok's seen him topless before countless times, that there's nothing new or scary about, no reason to shy away.

And then he's not thinking about it at all, too focused on the lines of Hoseok's back and sides, on gorgeous, lean muscle beneath toned skin as Hoseok slips out of his pants. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, flushing just a little when he realizes he's said it out loud, his eyes flickering up to meet Hoseok's again with a sheepish smile.



HOSEOK Hoseok’s seen Jimin topless before, knows how strong his narrow chest is, how prominent his abs, but he still makes a low sound of appreciation when Jimin tugs his shirt off now, revealing all that pale, flushed skin, his flat belly and dark nipples. Immediately Hoseok thinks he wants to put his mouth all over that skin, wants to suck bruises everywhere, a map of where he’s been, of the parts of Jimin he cherishes. Of course then Jimin would be bruised absolutely everywhere, because even though he hasn’t seen everything, he already knows he loves every single inch of Jimin’s body, inside and out.

He stares for way too long before he finally moves to take off his pants, the throbbing of his dick behind his zipper reminding him why he wanted out of them in the first place. He stands up quickly to get them off, his legs shaking. He’s so busy trying not to fall down that Jimin’s words make him moan, and he meets Jimin’s eyes and falls in love with him all over again.

“God, I love you,” he says as he crawls back onto the bed on his knees, crowding into Jimin’s space so he can kiss Jimin’s mouth. And then he can’t help sinking into it, cupping Jimin’s cheek with one hand as he slips his tongue in alongside Jimin’s, keeps kissing him until they’re both breathless.

“You should take your pants off too,” Hoseok whispers then, his lips still bumped up close to Jimin’s.



JIMIN Jimin can't take his eyes off of Hoseok as he moves, every nerve in his body aroused by the sight of him, all that lean muscle and toned skin, the swell of his cock heavy in his underwear as he crawls back onto the bed. For a flash of a second, Jimin wants to touch, wants to feel him in his hand, hot and heavy and thick.

But then Hoseok is close again, cupping Jimin's cheek to push into a kiss, and Jimin can't help the sound he makes at just the promise of touching bare skin to skin. Hoseok's not quite close enough for that, only an inch or two between their bare chests and Jimin parts his lips immediately and instinctively to feel the heat of Hoseok's tongue in his mouth. He kisses back eagerly, trembling now with anticipation and only pulling back when Hoseok does, his lips buzzing still, a delicious and now familiar tingle.

"Oh," he breathes, heart pounding as he manages a nod and shifts back enough to roll onto his back. He lifts his hips then and slides his waistband down past his hips, biting his cheek when the fabric brushes over his cock through his underwear and he sits up enough to finish pulling it past his legs.

"Okay?" he says, lying back then, immediately reaching for Hoseok's shoulder, wanting him closer, needing him closer as cool air brushes over his skin.



HOSEOK Hoseok stares as Jimin works his pants off, watching the way Jimin’s abdomen flexes, his arms, his chest, and then his legs, his thick, gorgeous thighs. He’s always thought Jimin was cute, handsome, that he had the sweetest smile Hoseok had ever seen, but it’s so different now, the way his body reacts, the way his stomach goes tight, his blood hot, making him feeling throbby absolutely everywhere.

He looks over Jimin before he moves to lay down with him, eyes moving over every inch of his exposed skin, mapping out the lines of his muscles with his gaze, following the curves and hollows, noticing his freckles, the sparse trail of hair just above the waist of his underwear. And his cock, god, a hard ridge beneath his briefs, a patch of wetness where the fabric stretches over the tip. Jimin’s made comments more than once about the size of it, about it not being impressive, but it looks perfect to Hoseok, the perfect size, the perfect shape, lovely and full between Jimin’s amazing legs.

Crawling forward Hoseok arranges himself over the top of Jimin, his legs on either side of Jimin’s so his knees are resting on the bed outside Jimin’s. He lets his pelvis lower until their cocks brush, just briefly, and he gasps a soft moan, his body aching to push down even as he forces himself to put space between them.

“Is, is this okay?” he asks, breathless, arms shaking as he holds himself over Jimin.



JIMIN Jimin wants to drown in the weight of Hoseok's gaze, stretching slightly as he slides a hand up his own side, relishing the heated look, the want that's focused entirely on him. It makes the heat in his gut pulse and his cock twitch as Hoseok slides in closer, makes him want to touch himself, and touch Hoseok too. Makes him want to perform, but just for Hoseok, just to keep those eyes on him.

There's no hesitation on Hoseok's either, it seems, as he moves to straddle Jimin's thighs, hovering for a moment before lowering his hips. "Oh my god," Jimin whispers, immediately grabbing hold of Hoseok's sides as he rolls his hips, grinding against the hard heat of Hoseok's dick, feeling every bit of it between two layers of cotton.

He manages to swallow before nodding, his next breath a soft laugh that melts into another groan before he lifts his head to look between them, down the stretch of their bodies to where they're pressed together. He curls one arm around Hoseok's middle, fingertips playing at the waistband of Hoseok's underwear as he moves again as he tips his head back to meet his eyes again.

"You-- you feel good," he whispers, gaze dropping to the curve of Hoseok's swollen lips. "Really, really good. Fuck."



HOSEOK When Jimin looks down between them Hoseok does too, sees Jimin’s cock tenting his briefs a little, his own doing the same, like they’re reaching out for each other, wanting to touch. Jimin arches up and Hoseok closes his eyes, groaning as he lets himself push down. He doesn’t move back this time, lets the weight of his lower body rest against Jimin’s, grinds down a little, whimpering at the friction, at how hard and hot Jimin feels against him.

“It’s better, better than anything, anything I’ve ever felt,” Hoseok agrees, looking into Jimin’s eyes, following the downward cast of his gaze, looking at Jimin’s plump, pink lips. He leans down to kiss them, to slot their mouths together, licking past Jimin’s teeth and slipping their tongues together.

It’s incredibly easy once they’re kissing to just fall into it, to stop thinking and worrying and just move the way his body is telling him to, seeking pleasure, Jimin’s and his own, their hips rocking. Their kisses get wetter and deeper and more frantic and Hoseok never wants to stop, wants to be here like this with Jimin forever, warm and close, breathing through each other, moaning into each other’s mouths, moving in a perfect rhythm all their own.



JIMIN Another rock of Hoseok’s hips has Jimin’s head falling back and his back arching as he grabs at Hoseok’s sides. The pleasure is immediate and electrifying, breath catching tight in his throat until Hoseok lowers enough to find his lips, stealing his breath in a different way. And this much is familiar, is comforting in a strange way, Jimin melting into each kiss, one after the other, only faltering when Hoseok moves again, grinds against him.

He’s started shaking, he realizes, thinks maybe Hoseok is too as he slides his hands higher up Hoseok’s sides, grabbing at him as the heat in his gut flares. Even through two layers of clothing, Jimin can feel every inch of Hoseok’s cock, can feel how hard he is, can guess that Hoseok is as close as he is already.

“Hoseokie,” he gasps against Hoseok’s open mouth, rocking upward and then going suddenly tense when he realizes how little he can move. “Hoseok,” he gasps again, an edge in his tone this time as something like panic slices up his spine.



HOSEOK Hoseok so lost to the way it feels, Jimin’s mouth and Jimin’s breath, Jimin’s body beneath him, Jimin’s cock, hard and hot, Jimin’s hands on his sides, nothing but Jimin all around him, sound and taste and sensation. They’re moving together, and Hoseok thinks everything is fine, that it’s perfect and wonderful and amazing, and when Jimin says his name the first time it’s in a warm, aroused tone.

Which is why it’s so shockingly obvious how not okay Jimin is when he says Hoseok’s name the second time. It’s enough to make Hoseok stop moving immediately, to make him push back and put some distance between their faces and chests, though their groins are still pressed tightly together.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, his heart racing for a different reason now. He wants to reach out and touch Jimin’s face, but something tells him he should’t, that Jimin needs space. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”



JIMIN Relief collides with instant regret as Hoseok freezes against him and then immediately shifts up, putting space between them though they’re still touching down below, still touching groin to groin. Shame washes over him, but it’s not enough to hide the rising panic, but Jimin fights it as hard as he can, pushing up onto his elbows as he struggles to catch his breath.

He knows Hoseok’s looking at him, staring at him, knows he’s completely killed the mood, that Hoseok is going to finally see him for the freak he is and run away and he’s already shaking his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, closing his eyes to hide from it as much as he can. “Fuck, I’m-- I’m sorry. Fuck.”

He still can’t move, can’t get out from under the weight of Hoseok’s body much less the weight of guilt and shame sitting heavy on his chest and he drops back down to the mattress, hiding his face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” he murmurs into his palms, still struggling to catch his breath. “Please. I’m so sorry.”



HOSEOK The expression on Jimin’s face, the panic in his eyes, the terrified tone of his voice, Hoseok doesn’t know what’s happening but he knows well enough that he needs to move, needs to give Jimin more air. He’s careful when he pushes up to his knees, moving to sit at Jimin’s side but staying close, not touching but near enough that they can if Jimin needs contact. His heart is hammering as he tries to find Jimin’s eyes, to understand what’s happening, where things went wrong.

“It’s okay,” he says, tone soft, hoping he sounds soothing even though he’s so afraid, worried he took things too far, that he wasn’t reading Jimin the right way, that he was about to take something Jimin wasn’t offering. “It’s okay, Jimin. Can you tell me what you need? Water? Do you want to put your clothes back on?”



JIMIN It’s no surprise when Hoseok quickly climbs off of him and some part of Jimin is relieved when he’s able to bend his legs and curl inward, hands still over his face. But he can’t deny the ache of disappointment either, the taste of it bitter in the back of his throat as his eyes start to sting and prickle.

Hoseok’s voice is quiet and soothing, but Jimin thinks he hears a tinge of hurt in it too and hates himself immediately, forces himself to drop his hands as he rolls onto his side, facing Hoseok.

“I don’t know,” he admits because that’s the most honest reply. What does he need apart from a new brain and a new body? What does he need to stop being this gross, messed up ball of issues? Hoseok deserves so much better.

You need to tell him, a voice in the back of his head tells him. It sounds suspiciously like Jungkook.

He shakes his head against it, but manages to sit up finally and reaches for the blanket they’ve managed to kick to the bottom of the bed, pulling it up over himself. “I’m sorry,” he says again, sneaking one hand out from under the blanket to search for Hoseok’s. “I’m sorry, please don’t hate me.”



HOSEOK Hoseok watches as Jimin struggles, curling in on himself, shaking, eventually pulling the blankets up over himself, covering his body. Hoseok feels weird then too, almost naked while Jimin’s hiding beneath the blankets of Hoseok’s bed, and though his erection is going down rapidly, he’s still a little hard. He wants to get dressed but he’s afraid to move, swallows down against the shame he’s feeling now, suddenly, for doing too much, for trying to take things too fast, for doing this to Jimin, hurting him.

“Hate you?” he says, his voice wavering as he shakes his head. “Why would I hate you? I could never hate you.” He squeezes Jimin’s hand in his own, wanting to offer comfort, but needing it himself too.

“This isn’t your fault,” he says softly, his eyes locked on their hands, fingers wrapped around fingers. “I didn’t ask, I… I should have, I shouldn’t have,” he tries, shaking his head again. “I’m sorry, Jimin. I’m so sorry.”



JIMIN Jimin shakes his head immediately, another wave of guilt making his throat close up as he squeezes Hoseok’s hand tighter. “You didn’t--” he says, voice cracking a little, making him cringe and duck his head. “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Because that, above anything else, he wants to make clear. Needs to make clear. Hoseok hasn’t done anything wrong, he’s not the one who’s fucked up.

He forces himself to take another breath, focusing on the feel of Hoseok’s hand in his, the warmth and the comfort his touch brings. His heart is still pounding and his stomach is a mess, but little by little he can feel his breath coming back to him.

“I really… I really really wanted it,” he manages finally. “I still do, I just--” It feels so stupid now, his face hot with shame and guilt despite the vestiges of receding panic. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want, please believe that.”



HOSEOK Hoseok listens carefully to Jimin’s words, watches Jimin’s face, his expressions, trying to figure out what went wrong, what happened to make Jimin panic so suddenly, so badly. Jimin says it wasn’t something Hoseok did, but Hoseok’s not sure what else it could be, doesn’t know the right way to ask. He can feel himself frowning and he still feels weirdly raw, exposed, and if he wasn’t worried about Jimin’s reaction he’d put his clothes on right now, so ready to not be almost naked anymore.

“If, if it wasn’t me,” he says carefully, swallowing hard. “If I didn’t… what…” He pauses, sucks a deep breath through his nose, trying to call the worried thudding of his own heart. “What happened?”



JIMIN It’s a natural question, of course, but it’s not one Jimin knows how to answer. And he hates that too; if nothing else, Hoseok deserves an explanation.

As stupid and small as Jimin feels, he doesn’t miss that Hoseok’s all curled in on himself, shoulders hunched and expression uncertain. He must be cold outside of the blanket, completely naked apart from his briefs, and Jimin tugs lightly on his hand, urging him to toward the head of the bed as he carefully crawls there himself. He loosens the blanket in the process as they get situated, sitting near enough that their bare legs are touching as Jimin drapes it over Hoseok as well.

His heart is still hammering even as he reaches for Hoseok’s hand again, holding tight as he forces himself to go over what happened again, trying to figure it out himself.

Then, “I think, uhm… I couldn’t move. When-- when you were on top of me.” He hates how it sounds even as he says it, hates that Hoseok might take it to mean he’s at fault when he’s not. So he rushes to add, “But I wanted it, I wanted to feel you. I didn’t think-- I didn’t know I’d react like-- that I’d do that. I didn’t want that to happen, I promise you.”



HOSEOK Hoseok lets Jimin move him to the head of the bed, is grateful for the blanket, for the contact between them, the way Jimin grabs his hand again, holding onto him, keeping him close. He listens carefully and tries to process what Jimin’s saying, to figure out what went wrong, where the balance tipped. He can tell Jimin’s upset, mostly at himself, and Hoseok hates that something that was supposed to be good and nice is making Jimin so unhappy.

“Maybe… Like you felt claustrophobic?” Hoseok wonders, looking down at his own legs beneath the blanket. He doesn’t ask if that means they can never do something like this, doesn’t ask if it’s different with Taehyung, bites the inside of his cheek to keep his own stupid feelings in check.



JIMIN Jimin frowns a little as he thinks that over, weighing whether or not it's the right word. It doesn't feel wrong exactly, but it's not quite right either and eventually he shakes his head before ducking in to rest it against Hoseok's shoulder, their hands still folded between them.

Tell him, comes that voice again and Jimin's insides start curdling as he lets out a breath.

"I, uh... I need to tell you something," he manages finally and even that much sends his heart pounding and his pulse racing. Maybe it'll be easier like this though, with his head on Hoseok's shoulder so Hoseok can't see his face. He gives Hoseok's hand another squeeze, harder this time, willing himself to find the courage, willing Hoseok to listen and not think he's gross and messed up.

He opens his mouth again a moment later, tries pushing out the words, and then sighs in frustration when they won't come out, eyes prickling. "I don't know how," he admits, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm sorry, I just. I don't know how to do this."



HOSEOK Hoseok inhales deeply when Jimin says he has to tell him something, holding his breath. He doesn’t know what it could be, has absolutely no guesses, but the way Jimin’s clinging to his hand, trembling slightly, Hoseok knows it isn’t good. He wants to hold Jimin closer, wrap him up and protect him from whatever this is, but he doesn’t want to crowd Jimin, so he just keeps holding his hand, trying to pass strength to Jimin through that one point of contact alone.

And then Jimin falters, his voice wavering on the edge of tears, and the urge to hold Jimin now is overwhelming. He doesn’t let go of Jimin’s hand, just turns his face so he can briefly press his lips to Jimin’s hair, reaching across his own chest with his other hand to gently cup the side of Jimin’s neck.

“What can I do?” he asks softly, brushing his thumb against the edge of Jimin’s jaw. “I’ll do anything, Jimin. Anything you need.” He swallows then, kissing Jimin’s head again before sliding his hand away from Jimin’s neck, not wanting his touch to become unwelcome.

“I love you,” he whispers into Jimin’s hair. “No matter what, I’ll always love you.”



JIMIN Jimin isn't sure what he's expecting, but Hoseok's touch is an immediate comfort and he sinks into it despite the nagging in the pit of stomach that he doesn't deserve any of it, the fear that Hoseok will pull away once he knows, once Jimin tells him.

But Jungkook had said Hoseok would understand and Hoseok's saying he loves him. It feels like a promise or like a truth and Hoseok is very very bad at lying so maybe he can let himself believe it.

He tries to remember how he'd told Jungkook, the words he'd said. But he comes up empty, lost once again as he tries to just focus on breathing, in and out, slow and even. Hoseok's touch is grounding, the press of his lips to the top of Jimin's head, the light graze of his fingers along Jimin's neck that are gone too soon.

And then he finally opens his mouth again, but keeps his eyes closed. "Awhile ago, back in... at a different school, I had a teacher. He, uh. He did stuff." He cringes at the words, at how vague and stupid it sounds, how he can't bring himself to lay it out directly, still too scared of how Hoseok will see him if he knows all the details. "Like, uhm... with me. To me," he corrects himself, his stomach twisted into knots. His throat is closing up again and he turns to smash his face against Hoseok's shoulder, hating his inability to even say what happened, hating that he's still such a coward.



HOSEOK It takes a minute for the pieces to fall all the way into place, but when the realization strikes it steals the air from Hoseok’s lungs. He feels a lot of things all at once – disbelief, horror, anger, fear – but the biggest thing is the ache in his chest for Jimin, for the way Jimin’s voice breaks and his body shakes, how he hides his face in shame. He can’t begin to imagine what it must be like for Jimin, going through that, holding onto it, being afraid to talk about it, but he understands why Jimin would be so terrified, can see why being intimate, even with someone he loves, might bring back those awful memories.

“Jimin,” he says, the heartbreak clear in his tone, his hand finding the back of Jimin’s head without thinking, and he thinks to move it, but he doesn’t want Jimin to think he doesn’t want to touch him either. “Fuck, Jimin, can I hold you?” he asks, his own voice shaking.



JIMIN There's a crack in Hoseok's voice, a splinter of what Jimin assumes is shock and probably disgust too. But he's not pulling away, not trying to put any distance between them, instead reaching out to him, though he hesitates before actually touching and Jimin can't help the sound that pushes past his throat as he manages a nod.

He doesn't wait for Hoseok to close the distance before leaning in closer, his next breath a shuddered, wet thing as he tries to calm the mess of nerves in his belly.

"I'm sorry," he says again, barely a whisper. Because this is a lot to put on a person. Too much. He knows because he's been carrying it for years, has kept it buried all that time, has let it drag him down and suffocate him more and more. Telling Jungkook had lightened the weight somewhat and maybe it should lighten more now that he's told Hoseok too, but that's not fair either. It's not fair of him to ask anyone else to help him shoulder this, especially Hoseok. Everything is complicated enough without this, and now...

What reason would Hoseok ever have to want to stay with him?

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to tell you," he manages, voice pinched as he keeps his face buried. "I thought I could get past it, that I could just. Stop freaking out. But I just-- sometimes it's-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry."



HOSEOK Hoseok moves so he can wrap his arms around Jimin’s narrow shoulders, gathers him up against his chest the best he can with the way they’re sitting. He shushes Jimin gently, pressing more kisses to Jimin’s hair, feeling his eyes going wet as Jimin shakes, as his voice breaks with his quiet, sorrowful apologies.

“It’s okay,” he says softly, holding Jimin tightly in his arms. “Please, you don’t have to say you’re sorry. It’s okay that you told me,” he murmurs, his head still bowed close to Jimin’s. “I can’t imagine how terrifying that was for you, to tell me, to have to go through it. It’s not fair that you had to,” he says, the outrage at Jimin’s teacher starting to surface a little in that moment, making his eyes flood with angry tears.

He takes a breath, because expressing that anger right now isn’t going to help, and the last thing he wants is for Jimin to feel guilty about any of this. “I’m glad you told me, that you trust me enough to share this with me,” he tells Jimin, shifting so he can see Jimin’s face if Jimin feels strong enough to look up. “I never, ever want to do anything to hurt you, even if it’s unintentional,” he says. “And now I know, and we can be careful together, okay? You can always tell me to stop, even if… No matter what, Jimin, okay? And we can talk more about this if you can or you want to, but we don’t have to, either. Just…”

He takes a deep breath, ducks to press a warm, lingering kiss to Jimin’s forehead. “None of this is your fault. And it doesn’t change how I feel about you. At all,” he whispers. “I love you, Jimin. I love you so much. I always, always will.”



JIMIN Jimin doesn't put up any fight at all as Hoseok gathers in him close, lets himself be pulled into a tight embrace, his head pillowed on Hoseok's chest, the blanket still draped over his shoulders, but Hoseok's arms so much warmer. It should be weird, he thinks, should be mortifying that they're both still dressed in only their underwear and Hoseok's holding him like a child, quietly whispering and nuzzling into his hair, soothing him when only moments ago their activities had been anything but innocent.

And it is to some extent, Jimin hating how weak he is about this one thing, how broken it's made him despite Hoseok's kindness.

His chest clenches tight as Hoseok presses a kiss to his forehead, as he whispers against him. "I don't want you to be different with me," he admits, reaching one hand out to touch Hoseok's side, sliding his bare fingers down the bumps of Hoseok's ribs and holding on. "Please. I know it's messed up, I know I'm. You know. I'm fucked up. But I want you so much. I always have."



HOSEOK “You’re not fucked up,” Hoseok says gently, his lips still close to Jimin’s forehead. “It’s something that happened to you and it affects you sometimes, but you’re not fucked up, Jimin.” He breathes in deeply, letting out his warm breath against Jimin’s skin. “We all have those things, and yours is… It’s awful, what happened. And it’s a part of you, but it… It isn’t who you are.”

He hopes he’s making sense, that what he’s saying is comforting and not making things worse. He’d seen a therapist a few times, at the orphanage, and they’d talked about post traumatic stress, about how the way his mother left him would cause scars, how that might show up later in his life, but that it didn’t have to shape him. Admittedly it has in a lot of ways; it’s made him paranoid about people leaving him, has him putting defense mechanisms in place, assuming that everyone will eventually leave him behind rather than relying on them to stay. But still the idea of being alone is terrifying to him, and the way he copes with that… It’s certainly not at all healthy.

It isn’t the same as what Jimin went through, but it’s not entirely different. Jimin’s past trauma has caused him to try to protect himself, from the memory, from ever feeling that way again. Hoseok’s sure Jimin can’t help what triggers him, and the last thing Hoseok wants is to make him feel guilty about it. His words won’t change anything, but maybe, if he keeps hearing things like that, some day Jimin’s scars will start to heal.

“I want you too, Jimin,” he says. “And it won’t be different, except that I know now why you might need me to stop. It’s better knowing that it’s… That isn’t not me hurting you,” he goes on carefully.



JIMIN "You've never hurt me," Jimin says because that much feels important. He squeezes Hoseok's side tighter in emphasis. "And, like, I know you never would, but sometimes it gets all fuzzy and stupid in my head when things are happening and I just kind of. I don't know. Freeze up and panic."

It sounds stupid, he knows. Stupid and weak and like he's constantly overreacting. He hates it, but he continues clinging to Hoseok all the while, still slowly touching his side, comforted by the skin on skin contact.

"It happens with Taehyungie too," he says, his voice quieter this time, still colored with guilt. "And sometimes I think it's getting better, sometimes everything just feels good, but sometimes..."

Sometimes he can't move or sometimes he's too cold or sometimes his brain just gets ahead of him and all he can feel are rough, callused hands, all he can taste is bitter and pain and the overwhelming ache of being twisted up and wrong. He doesn't know how to make sense of it, doesn't know how to explain and he frowns again before slowly lifting his head to meet Hoseok's eyes.

"I don't want to be like this," he says. "Please just-- don't think it's ever me not wanting you."



HOSEOK Hoseok’s heart is breaking as he hears Jimin explain, hears him trying to reassure Hoseok like he’s the one who’s suffering most greatly from this, like he’s worried Hoseok’s going to decide he’s disgusting or not worth it and ask him to leave. Hoseok hates that Jimin’s going through this, that he’s been going through it for years, and probably without telling anyone, without getting any reassurance of his own. He hates the man who did this even more, who thought it was okay to touch a child, to take Jimin’s innocence away when he was so young, to put this scar on Jimin’s heart. If there was some way to track this man down and kill him, Hoseok doesn’t think that would be enough of a punishment. And it won’t erase what he did, it won’t take away all the years of pain Jimin’s faced.

“It’s not your fault,” Hoseok says, stroking his hand up and down the back of Jimin’s neck tenderly. “I wish this hadn’t happened to you, that it wasn’t still hurting you,” he goes on, searching Jimin’s face. “I’m so sorry, Jimin. And I…” He shakes his head softly. “I just want you to know that I’m here, okay? I’ll always be here, however you need me. I’m here and I love you and I want you, and I’m not going to stop. I’m never going to stop.”



JIMIN Part of Jimin wants to ask Hoseok to promise him, but he knows that isn’t fair, knows that even without this, that’s not a promise he can expect Hoseok to ever keep. Things change, things always change. It’s possible that this time next year, Jimin might not even be living in Seoul anymore, might be off to some new city and new school.

Or Hoseok might be gone too, off to a dance academy or entertainment company that doesn’t care about the registry.

But he has this right now, has Hoseok’s warmth and his kindness, and there’s no denying the swell of comfort beneath his chest as he leans more heavily into it, soaking it all up while he can. There’s no taking away what happened, probably no easy way to make himself not react the way he does sometimes, and no way to expect Hoseok to have to deal with it over and over again, but right now it’s nice. Right now he feels a little bit lighter.

“I love you,” he manages a moment later, his voice a little choked this time for a different reason. “I’m sorry everything’s so messed up, that I’m-- you know. But I really, really love you.”



HOSEOK Hoseok wants to tell Jimin he doesn’t need to apologize, that he never needs to apologize for this, but it feels better to be quiet, to keep his eyes focused on Jimin’s as they admit how much they love each other. He cups Jimin’s face gently, leans in to press a kiss to Jimin’s lips, chaste and warm, lingering just a couple seconds before he pulls away.

“Do you want to stay?” he asks softly, brushing his thumb over Jimin’s cheekbone. “We can get dressed and cuddle for a while, if you want. It’s okay if you’d rather go home, too. Whatever you need, okay?” he adds with a soft smile.



JIMIN "I don't want to go home," Jimin says immediately, maybe a little desperately as he holds tighter to Hoseok's side. If anything, going home to two parents who barely care that he's alive sounds like the worst thing imaginable right now. Even if Jimin's made things weird now, being with Hoseok, just existing in the same space as him, is so much better.

His lips still curved in a frown, Jimin ducks his head. "Is it okay if we just... stay like this?" Not sure how to ask if they can keep their clothes off. It should be weird, he thinks, and maybe it is. But feeling Hoseok's skin on his is nice, comforting even if they do nothing else. "But maybe just curl up for awhile?"



HOSEOK “Of course it is,” Hoseok replies immediately. “I like, um. I like having my clothes off with you,” he adds carefully, hoping it’s okay for him to say that now.

He takes a breath, shifting a little, making sure he never disconnects from Jimin completely as he maneuvers them both so they’re laying down beneath the blankets. Hoseok lays on his back, letting Jimin decide how he wants to arrange himself, wanting to make sure it’s Jimin’s choice, that he can find the position that makes him the most comfortable. But he doesn’t let go of Jimin’s hand as they rest side by side, wants Jimin to know that he wants contact, whatever kind Jimin is ready to give.



JIMIN Jimin feels his face warm at that, but it’s not unpleasant at all. The twist of his stomach is better this time too, a little curl of muted desire as he shifts to lay down beside Hoseok, sliding in close. With Hoseok on his back, it’s easy for Jimin to slip in along his side, to drape himself half over Hoseok’s naked chest.

It’s comforting in a way he can’t really describe, especially when he rests his head on Hoseok’s chest, hears the quiet, steady thump of his heartbeat as he smooths one hand up Hoseok’s side.

“Thank you,” he says after a long, long moment. His face still warm, he turns it into Hoseok’s chest, pressing a kiss there.



HOSEOK Hoseok closes his eyes when Jimin moves to lay over the top of him, his cheek pressed to Hoseok’s chest, legs tangled, close and intimate but not immediately sexual. It’s comforting even for Hoseok, and Hoseok wraps his arm around Jimin’s shoulders, holds him close, lifting his head to kiss Jimin’s forehead.

He sighs when Jimin kisses his chest, slips his hand up to the back of Jimin’s head, loosely tangling his fingers in Jimin’s hair. “I love you,” he says in response, pressing another kiss to Jimin’s hairline. “No matter what, always.”



JIMIN The unease is Jimin’s stomach isn’t entirely gone and, even if Hoseok knows now, he has a feeling nothing is going to be automatically fixed no matter how badly he’d like it to be. But at least it isn’t a secret anymore and, at the very least, now there’s hopefully a smaller likelihood of Hoseok taking Jimin’s freakish nature personally.

He hums softly at the gentle brush of Hoseok’s lips to his hair and he stretches just a little as he presses closer, a small smile curving his lips as tips his head up to meet Hoseok’s eyes.

“I love you,” he echoes, gaze dropping to Hoseok’s lips for just a second before he closes the space to press a kiss there, soft and lingering and warm. Whispers, “Always.”


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